It's my understanding that a ring that’s given on a holiday may not be returned if the engagement’s broken, as the recipient can say it was a gift rather than part of a contract.

St Valentine’s Day Ring

The engagement ring’s usually a symbol of love, but unfortunately, if that love fades and the engagement’s broken, you’re now dealing with legal opinions.

The law on whether one must return the ring differs between countries and their various jurisdictions.

Example: If a man’s proposed, bought a ring, and the woman’s accepted it, in some places the ring’s considered a gift conditioned upon marriage.

No wedding? He gets his ring back.

But if he proposes and hands over that ring on a gift-giving holiday like Valentine’s Day, some courts will say it’s a gift, period.

That means it’s not conditioned on marriage and the recipient gets to keep it, sell it, or whatever.

So, if you’re a would-be groom who’s worked hard and saved up to buy a sparkling ring for your love, choose your proposal date wisely: Wait till February 15 or any other non-gift-related day.

Note: Engagements don’t usually end without someone feeling hurt and/or angry.

Thus, if there’s no “holiday rule” involved, and you’re the purchaser who wants your ring-money back, talk to a lawyer or research local law, first and fast.

You may need to file a court action to recover your “personal property.”

Or you can just let her/him keep it.

Complicated? Well, not so much as marrying the wrong person, if that’s how you feel.

Most of us have been busy with the hustle and bustle of the holidays, New Year’s events, and year-end tasks.

My message is of consideration for others – those who’ve lost their loved ones or became estranged from family so we’re alone over this season.

I’m a senior. But I’m not sure if my survival has been a blessing or a curse.

At an early age I endured a long-term life-threatening illness that left me with physical disabilities.

Upon completion of my education, this situation prevented me from pursuing my chosen career path.

However, it also made me a very determined and tenacious person determined to accomplish a goal.

Eventually I got married and against medical advice I gave birth to two wonderful children. My world was complete as I had it all!

But over the years one of my children endured years of treatment with its ups and downs until she lost her life’s battle.

Soon, I was confronted with the potential loss of my surviving child. Within a few short years I’d lost both of my daughters along with my only grandchild.

Each holiday season, family picnic, long weekend or other significant time, I’m confronted with the realization that they’re forever gone.

I’m not writing this to procure sympathy or insincere condolences. I just want to remind everyone that life is very fragile.

Forget your misunderstandings, your disagreements and wholeheartedly accept the love from the people in your life.

Still Hanging In

Ellie – New Year’s is a traditional time that many people do take stock of their own lives.

Mostly, they consider what they can do better for their own well-being – such as finding ways to try and reduce stress (fitness efforts and better nutrition), starting new projects, upgrading skills for better job opportunities, etc.

But this woman’s personal story goes to the heart of what most people need reminders to focus on – connecting with loved ones, getting and giving emotional support.

FEEDBACK Regarding the woman whose marriage had financial difficulties, then her husband suddenly walked out (Dec. 10):

Reader – “The woman’s not being able to get out of bed is a sign of depression. Telling someone to "get out of bed" is like telling them to "snap out of it," which is not possible if she’s severely depressed. You should’ve included that she visit her doctor.”
Ellie – If this had been a case of her barely functioning for weeks, I’d agree.

Since she’d written for advice after he’d left within only the past week, she showed that she was already pro-active.

That’s why I told her that first, she must ask him directly if he’s willing to get counselling. If not, then she needed to “get out of bed” to get legal advice.

She asked how to handle the separation and help her young children through it.

I believe she needed to discuss shared custody and other parenting issues immediately.