We’ve been together for 18 months - she works full-time, attends law school part-time and works one night a week as a bartender.

Recently she told me, nonchalantly, that one of the “regulars” at the bar got tickets to a hockey game, invited her, and she accepted. This isn’t a friend of hers.

To me, it looks like a date, and she doesn’t think that there’s anything wrong with going on a “date” with another guy.

Am I too blind to see the writing on the wall?

- Blinkered

The positive writing’s always been there - that she’s highly ambitious, self-motivated, hard working, and independent.

Now, there’s more… she makes her own decisions, and can act from self-interest. These parts of her strong personality are only a problem if she refuses to understand how it can affect you.

Unless she sees this guy outside the bar again, or accepts invitations from other guys, she isn’t really “dating” others.

Nevertheless, she was insensitive to you to accept without discussing it first. Explain this. Next time, she should ask for a second ticket to purchase and bring you along.

But if she goes alone again, you’re dealing with someone who’s either more selfish or got one foot outside your relationship.

My mother-in-law starts talking from the second we set foot in her house to the second we leave. She talks about everything and everybody and has no clue that she’s not letting others get a word into the conversation. She doesn’t even bother to ask how we’re doing, unless it's a topic that directly affects her well-being.

She’s married, 60, and still works. She has plenty of friends and family too.

How can we get her to stop talking and let us take a breather and relax during our visits?

I really don’t care what her neighbour daughter’s cousins are doing with their lives!

- Barraged

There can be many reasons why she dominates the conversation, including: 1) this has been going on so long and no one’s told her it’s off-putting and annoying; 2) she’s nervous because she already suspects you’re not that interested in her life or the people she knows; etc. etc.

My point is that someone – preferably her own adult child – needs to let her know that your family loves her, wants to see her but also wants to have a REAL conversation plus relaxation.

Then, the message has to be given straight (but kindly) that she’s talking too much and no one else can speak or relax. Without blaming your side of this, I do also recommend you think ahead about whether you only go there to eat and sit around, or whether you’re prepared to share a conversation.

Try to tap an area in which she has some knowledge so the chat can become interesting to both sides.

My sister’s much-younger boyfriend moved in within months. But he says he’s waiting to tell his wife that he wants a divorce, until their 18-month-old baby is a little older.

He says he only married her to be sponsored to North America. He spends all his money on child support and on going out eating with my sister, but pays no rent or expenses.

Your thoughts?

- Worried

Keep a warm shoulder free for Sis to cry on, which will happen soon enough. This guy’s a user. She’s getting something out of this now – a boost to her ego, good sex – but the crash will be tough.

We attended my niece’s wedding four months ago; there’s been no acknowledgement of our gift card nor have thank-you notes gone to any other relatives.

How do you handle a situation like this?

Do you chalk it up to bad manners and let it go... or address the issue with the bride and groom?

Don’t young people say thanks these days?

- Waiting in Sudbury

While traditional etiquette books do say thank-you’s should be sent within eight weeks of receiving wedding gifts, today’s customs and “rules” are looser.

I’ve even heard of a year’s delay.

This is because most brides and grooms are both working, many have exhausted themselves on wedding plans, and after their honeymoon are swamped with tasks to get back into a routine.

Since nobody received a card, your gift didn’t go missing. Be patient and understanding, it’ll come.

If not, call the bride in a few weeks.