Last Valentine’s Day, I told my girlfriend of eight months that I love her; she revealed she had some doubts, and needs validation that I’m going to be fully committed.
Also, she doesn’t want to get hurt because she’s seen couples that’ve gone through the same situation, and broken up. She noted we haven’t had any real conversations about where we need to take our relationship in the future (what things we agree/disagree on, our common life purpose together as a couple etc.)
However, when I’d initiated previous discussions about what she needs/wants, she had difficulty expressing her true feelings because she doesn’t want me to feel disappointed.
I’m committed to her long-term, but now have doubts based on her doubts. Was saying, “I love you” premature or a mistake?
How can I begin our conversations in order to resolve this complicated situation?

- Confused

Expressing emotion is a natural impulse; your girlfriend should be pleased that you’re open about your feelings.
She’s being cautious in asking for deeper discussion, but frankly, much of what you describe as “complicated” is the kind of relationship gobble-de-gook that people mouth when they’re NOT expressing their feelings freely.
Yes, it’s important to talk about shared values and long-term plans. But it doesn’t give guarantees of lasting harmony, especially if one partner holds back. Fear of getting hurt, and worries about disappointing the other person are smokescreens people use to keep their own inner emotions under wraps.
It’s time for her to open up: Is she willing to take the normal risks with a guy who loves her, or does she prefer to hide behind a wall of cold lingo and put unnecessary obstacles in your way?

Our son, 30, has never finished any courses he started, works only part-time and intermittently, and relies on a modest legacy from his grandmother.
His current therapist has told him to distance from us completely, without anyone caring how hurt we feel.

- Heartsick Mom

Respect his need to go it alone. His therapist likely believes that independence is necessary for him to try to take control of his life, form achievable goals and gain self-esteem.
Keep a watching brief…he’s still your son but needs you to learn to care about his well-being, without taking his distance too personally, or showing lack of confidence in him.

Four years ago I was fired after 18 months, for no reason, just told they were restructuring. I put this workplace in my resume, set up a new reference and got a job through an agency.
How else should I have gone about this, for finding a new job?
Is being fired something very bad in my life? Because honestly, I hadn’t done anything that was worth firing. It was sheer spite that made the bosses do it.
I was too timid and never fought for myself. Those bosses paid me below minimum for many months before I was raised above the minimum level.

- Wondering

In the current climate of massive layoffs, “restructuring” is a common strategy for companies trying to stay afloat, and it’s happening to too many people to be a blight on anyone’s record.
It hasn’t affected your finding new employment, so put it behind you. Dwelling on the past can hold you back more than this episode.
However, there are lessons from the experience: 1) either report a company that pays below minimum wage, or don’t accept the job; 2) if fired without adequate explanation, speak to higher officials in the company, and/or seek legal advice.

My fiancé and I had a big argument about a passage in the Bible that says a wife should submit to her husband… in everything. He believes in it literally; I cannot.
He feels this means sexually as well - when he wants, where and how; my body is “his.” This has been a reason we haven’t yet married.
He’s refused spiritual counselling.
How does a woman balance her independence with the expectations of marriage?

-  Bride-to-be?

There’s no logical balance between independence and subjugation. And these are his expectations, not yours, and therefore a power struggle in the making.
However, in loving relationships, there are accommodations. If your fiancé is arguing Bible interpretation theoretically, but is actually a respectful guy who treats you as an equal, especially in his bedside manners, hang in.
But if this is his true behaviour model, a deal-breaker has only one message: End it.