I'm 23, married with a young son, but have unresolved issues from my childhood that I can't shake.

I’m constantly grappling with feeling resentment and loss because I didn't have the childhood I wanted.

I was always socially awkward, and sure enough, I'm a high-functioning autistic.

I had no true, close friends growing up.

My parents are emotionally abusive to one another (and to me, by extension) and have trouble controlling their emotions. I couldn't open up to them.

If I disagreed with them, said something they disliked, I got yelled at, and spanked.

Most of the people in my life were more interested in "fixing" me than getting to know me.
Here’s the stupid part: I'm now married to a man who treats me better than I ever dreamed possible, and we have a beautiful baby boy together. I have real friends. This is the life I always wanted.

I fear that these unresolved issues might ruin my relationship with my husband, or even negatively affect my parenting. HELP!

Shadowed by Fear

It’s not “stupid” to have anxieties, but yours are blocking the very things you cherish.

You have a diagnosis, adult understanding, and great support. Time to talk to a therapist who deals with unresolved issues and understands the complexities of high-functioning autism.

You want to live in the present now, and appreciate all that’s good in your life. Good therapy is NOT needed to “fix” you, but to help you put the past behind you.

I’ve been in a relationship for two months. My girlfriend has occasionally masturbated me manually, but suddenly stopped because she said she felt something that shouldn’t be there.

I hate to confess but I believe it’s a genital wart!

I don’t know what I should tell her. She said she’ll still love me but doesn’t want to continue with any sexual actions until I get it checked out by a doctor. What should I do?

I AM LOST

Get it checked by a doctor.

Then, do the research on how to manage sexual activity with her, while acknowledging you may already have passed this on. Then, discuss this openly with her.

Fortunately, you have a caring girlfriend who’s already attached to you emotionally.

Sexual health experts say that genital warts are now quite common, and easily spread among sexually active people. They estimate that some 80% of people with multiple partners have already been exposed, whether or not they have ever been aware of it.

So this diagnosis should no longer be shocking or stigmatize you.

However, since you already believe it’s a genital wart, you should’ve told her from the start.

Is it okay to stay at your ex's house when out of town, because the kids don't like your significant other at your home?

Unsure

You’re so unclear as to why this happens when out of town and where the kids live, that it seems to reflect your state of mind about the relationships here.

If you have a committed partner, then you need to work on having your children accept him/her. If that doesn’t happen, sleeping at your ex’s house only gives the children the false hope that you may get back together. Also, even if your ex has remarried, it gives the children too much power, when what they really need is security and reassurance that they haven’t been replaced in your heart.

They need help adjusting to life’s changes.

If you give them the right to call the shots on your relationships, you’ll all be dealing with insecurity, and conflicts.

FEEDBACK Regarding the “Fed-up stepmom” about her distant and rude stepson despite her husband’s and her generosity (Feb. 21):

Reader – “Prior to her husband having a conversation with his son, he could read, Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most, by Douglas Stone Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen, Roger Fisher.

“This book’s useful in any aspect of one's life. It emphasizes that each of us has a different perspective on a situation. It gives practical suggestions for approaches to very tough conversations.

“Instead of asking “why,” which often elicits defensiveness, it suggests asking to understand the other's take on the situation.

“It’s less confrontational and implies that the person is truly interested in the other’s views.

“Although I taught communication theory and techniques to nursing students, I found that it was hard to translate the lessons onto my personal life until I used the strategies in this book.”