I'm 21, and have no career goals. I've attended college in the past, but it just wasn't for me. Or at least my program wasn't right for me. Is it weird that my only dreams and aspirations are to be a wife and a mother?

Limbo in London, England

It's not "weird," but it IS impractical and CAN be self-limiting. Here's why: while being a wife and mother can be great roles in a woman's life, choosing them for lack of any other ambition can leave you very unsatisfied later, when other drives for personal achievement kick in (and they most often do).

Also, your choice of partner at 21 may be someone who wants you in those roles only, whereas you might want the right to grow in other directions, too.

You'd benefit greatly, now, from professional career counselling that looks at your particular talents and interests. You may be more artistic, would blossom in theatre work, love technical challenges, etc.

Once you've found an area that feels right, pursuing further knowledge and experience in that field - even if it's a job instead of a degree - will enhance your life now. That alone will give you greater self-esteem and independence, which will help you make a better choice when looking for a partner for your wife/mother goal.

Last year, my mother left my father after 38 years of marriage. She spent the last 15 years advocating how much of a jerk she thinks he is to anyone who listens, including my father's own family.

I understand her keeping up relationships with her in-laws, but she insists on attending all of my father's side of the family functions. Granted, she's been invited, especially by my father's sister who's still bitter that her brother's kept up a relationship (initially) with her ex-husband.

But I don't think my mom should attend (none of the other ex's do, although they've all been men up until this point), especially since my dad doesn't attend sometimes because my mom's there. Her desperation to win sides is so transparent - at Christmas she even brought the turkey and pudding.

Is it my place to say or do anything? She's not very receptive to feedback or open communication.

Annoyed

NO. You're clearly very critical of your mother, and it seems with good reason. But why start up? You already know she'll react negatively and distance herself from you rather than be influenced by your opinion. Or is "distancing" what you really want?

Better to let things play out naturally in this drama of the ex's. Stay supportive of your father, which seems an undercurrent here, and let his family come to their own conclusions about your mother.

My niece, 19, babysat our daughter, age three, and was very good with her. Unfortunately, it seems the minute she was asleep, four girlfriends "dropped in" to visit her, without her asking permission. They broke an expensive candy dish (which is how we found out) and my husband wants her to pay for it ($100). I think it's too much to ask of a student.

Divided

She should have some consequence to inviting guests without permission, and not minding the house more carefully. Settle on a reasonable price e.g. $50 (unless antique, the plate would likely now be worth less than it's original retail price, anyway.) And insist she babysit ALONE, for free, to make up that sum.

My daughter, age six, has play dates with a classmate whose parents separated. The mother works, has a nanny for her three children, and I appreciate she's going through a stressed-out time.

But I was appalled recently when the child told me her lunch had been a granola bar, after a breakfast of marshmallows, which her nanny had given her.

Should I say something to the mother, who's normally health-conscious? I'm afraid the child will start acting out for lack of nutrition as well as what's going on at home.

Concerned

No, not from one situation only. She has a hard enough time right now, despite your well-meaning interest.

Instead, drop over a "caring" basket - some nutritious snacks, cheese, and fruit, etc. - with a thinking-of-you note. With good support like that, the mother will hopefully get back to being more attentive to everyday tasks like school lunches and nanny's instructions.