After our recent wedding, two women in my wife’s wedding party stopped speaking to her. We don’t know why.

She’s particularly hurt by the sudden loss of friendship from the one who was closer.

I recall the less-close woman often appearing annoyed whenever we’d get together.

They now plan outings without inviting my wife, or blow off plans with her.

She tried talking with the closer one, but was told “I’m busy, and don’t have time to hang out as much.”

My wife unfriended her on Facebook, despite my advising her against it.

I’d enjoyed the three couples getting together, and still talk to one of the husbands periodically.

What can she do? My wife doesn’t have many female friends living nearby, and didn’t keep contact with former schoolmates.

Concerned Husband

This is her problem to handle. She’s been deeply hurt.

However, discuss whether she’s willing to ask the closer friend if there’s some way she offended the two, and if so, to apologize. She may not want to do this, and that’s her right, too.

Friendships have ups and downs, like other relationships. But unfriending one woman (publicly) might’ve put a final touch on whatever ticked off these two.

Your wife may learn from this to connect with new friends, slowly but steadily, and check into any apparent annoyances as they happen.

I’m almost 70, retired, divorced, have three married sons. One’s 40, married for 13 years and has a boy, age three.

Two years ago, he revealed an addiction problem that only his wife knew about. Shortly after, when alone with him, I made a flippant comment about his addiction, which I thought was funny. He did too, so much so he went home and told his wife.

She immediately banished me – won’t speak to me, nor allow me in their home, won’t visit me, nor respond to emails, refuses to acknowledge me at family events.

When asked why, my son says she believes I’ve hated her from first meeting. Untrue.

I see that son at restaurants for lunch, or at the playground when he’s allowed to bring my grandson to see me there, and sometimes at family events where he’s allowed to bring his boy.

I regret the comment. And I’ve apologized. I’ve emailed her several times asking for a civil, polite relationship. No response.

I always include her in group invitations. Nothing’s come of it.

Complications: My son, with his addiction problems, can’t say anything. I won’t involve my other two sons, as he needs them. Also, her best friend is my ex-husband’s current younger wife.

Do I suck it up and be happy for the wee bit of contact I have with that son and grandson? Or, can you suggest another way?

Banished Grandmom

Be positive whenever you’re with your son and your grandson, and build on those relationships. The child may hear some comments at home, but will take you as you are with him. And things may change in future.

Meanwhile, clear this one thing with your DIL: Tell her in any form that may get to her (e.g. telling someone close to her who’ll say it) that you greatly respect her, and her help and support that are so important to your son.

Whatever your “funny” comment was, it was taken as a slight on her.

As hard as this is on you, he apparently needs a strong-minded woman at his side. It’s uncertain whether she’ll soften her position over time… but possible.

 

I recently changed offices (different buildings) within the same company. My new co-workers are cliquish and unfriendly. They make no effort to include me, get to know me, or make me feel welcome.

The work itself is very stressful and I don't feel I can rely on them to de-stress or help.

I've made great efforts – baking brownies, initiating conversations, asking about others, and being openly welcoming and friendly. I attended the office night out, hoping to get to know them better, and show that I’m approachable and friendly.

I love my career and leaving the company isn't an option.

Isolated Office Outcast

Stop trying so hard, and be yourself. Put on a smile each day, do your work, and try to look unaffected by their exclusionary rudeness.

If the isolation worsens, re-think working in a different department, or consider talking to the company’s Human Resources department.

Your career’s intact. Protect your self-confidence.