Eight months ago, my boyfriend was seeing someone else while we were on a "break." Their relationship was still going strong when he told me he still loved me and wanted to work on things. I had no idea, and we began dating again.

I found out a month later; I was very hurt. When confronted, he said it was over and he wished he could take it back. I believe him to this day. He also said they'd never hooked up while we were still together and that he'd never slept with her. Recently, I learned these two were lies.

I love him, know he's sorry, and it's extremely difficult to think about leaving him. But I can't stop thinking about what happened. I feel cheated and stupid for forgiving him and letting him get away with merely "feeling bad." I want these thoughts to end so I can move on with my life.

Hurt

If you want blood, you'll have to leave him... but then you'd be bleeding too. What happens on a break, stays on a break. It was wrong for him to lie, but he was afraid he'd lose you, and it was past. He tried to keep you from this hurt.

Make an adult decision to put this behind you. You weren't a fool to forgive him. You need to go forward, or your relationship will stagnate.

Until recently, I really liked my boyfriend's mother. However, she (and her family) leaves urine in the toilet, saying, "If it's yellow, it's mellow; if it's brown, flush it down."

She never commented to me about my flushing after every use, until recently. I'd understand if she had a septic tank, or wanted to save money, but neither is the issue.

I care because this is about hygiene. Her bathroom smells like a sewer. Also, I'm very shy about letting other people see my "bodily functions."

So, should I continue to flush every time? And when my boyfriend and me move into our own place soon, is it okay to ask her to flush?

She's not a bad person, but is VERY involved with EVERYTHING we do. If my boyfriend leaves me a note, she reads it before I wake up and does what the note asked me to do. Today he asked me to find wallpaper stores. She's already found a place and a contractor.

We can't do anything or make any decisions for ourselves. She's determined the type of food we buy, the kind of laundry detergent, etc.

My boyfriend agrees with me but doesn't want to start a family feud. Is there a way I can politely tell her to back off? Am I overreacting?

Pushed Aside

You've already got the solution in place... you're moving out on your own. This means you flush when you like, and you ask others to flush too... but you mind her rules in her house.

Your boyfriend contributed to the problem by leaving notes where his mom could find them... they should've been left by your bed. If she's that intrusive, he needs to gently tell her that you two appreciate her information and help, but also want to do things on your own.

Of course that statement is more effective when you're not living with parents and taking their support.

By the way, you should know that the "mellow" approach to flushing is common among people who care about water conservation, and is at times the rule in some places - e.g. California, Mexico.

My friend also owns a Blackberry. I told her that we could BBM. She tried it and decided it was not her thing. Months later, I sent out a mass text. I was informed that she texts during work hours and otherwise ignores them, and I thought, fair enough.

I sent a text (during business hours) about an up-coming event. When I asked if she'd received it, I was informed she'd deleted it without reading it. She said, "You were told I don't play with text or BBM." Am I wrong to be put out?

I stopped BBM'ing her when she asked, but I feel that just deleting the message without reading it was uncalled for.

Upset

This doesn't sound like a close friendship.... if it were, she'd have read the message. So, why care so much? She'll miss the event and that's her own choice, you tried to inform her. Forget it.