Reader’s Commentary “If you only knew how weird it felt to read about myself as “Devastated” today (June 13).
“Thank you for focusing on my true issues. It made me realize I’ve done pretty well, considering my life’s extreme circumstances.
“Today was my first day at that job I was sure I wouldn’t get. Now I’m awaiting security clearances. It could be my career, or just a good few days.
“All I wanted is a chance to prove myself, feel proud, happy to wake and go to work. Today was the best day of my life!
“When I wrote you, I felt defeated, with nothing to offer. I’ve worked hard but it didn’t pay off. Now, I have such a different perspective!
“I don’t think it’s three jobs seven-days-weekly that brought me to today. It was getting through all the difficulties.
“I had to keep going, keep trying.
“This new job could be life-changing. I can’t express what it’s done for my self-worth, self-esteem, confidence/pride/focus.
“I’ll never again think I’m only good enough to be a gas attendant. I know I’m good enough for much more. I’m sharp as a whip and feel a bit above average. When I wrote to you, I felt like the lowest of low.
“But I didn’t give up. That’s why today happened. I wanted a chance and I got it. I accept that I can’t change my past.
“My grandma recently said this: The fact that I wasn’t a bad person in general is enough to be proud of. I wasn’t provided guidance/tools nor even encouraged to live the life I currently do.
“I think she meant that, with all that my parents put me through, everyone expected I’d have a difficult life.
“No one before ever told me to never give up! I’m so excited to go to work today!”
Devastation Became Sunshine ☀️
Whatever happens regarding work, you’ve seen a new, brighter future ahead. Somehow, managing on your own since teenage, you’ve risen above past mistakes.
I repeat what I wrote you after reading your impassioned letter about your past:
“You’ve fought on alone, worked steadily, supported yourself. That’s your inner strength. And you also have ambition besides survival smarts. Keep believing in yourself and you’ll keep moving forward.”
At 70, married 45 years, I left my alcoholic husband and his abuse.
A year ago, I fell hopelessly in love. After several wonderful months together, he broke up with me. He said he was damaged by his childhood, had broken up with an abusive girlfriend of 10 years, and was devastated by his mother’s death.
Then, after a successful camping trip together, he dumped me by text. He kept coming back. I couldn’t refuse him. Then, he found a new partner.
Several months ago, he messaged that she didn't kiss like me, make love like me or express her feelings like me. I became hopeful.
A month later, he was single again. Now, he only wants friendship with me.
How could he do this to me again? I've never been this giving and accepting with a man. Yet, I've driven him away from me again with my excessive emotion.
You already defined your relationship with this man, as you being “hopelessly in love.” The reality is that he can’t/won’t sustain a relationship... with anyone.
At 70, it’s great to feel love and sexual passion. But not at the emotional cost of being repeatedly dropped. Move on.
FEEDBACK Regarding the letter-writer who says she’s “Half Packed" (June 14):
Reader – “My husband didn’t have a stable childhood. He wanted home comforts, and closeness to me and our children.
“He decided early that he was more content at home than socializing, except for special occasions.
“This bothered me for many years, but he encouraged me to go out with my friends. I never considered leaving him. He’d have dinner ready when I returned home. Even our small talk was precious.
“Good natured bets were made at family gatherings about how long he’d stay. Everyone loved him, so happy he showed up at all.
“My husband of 53 years passed away three years ago. We loved each other. I’d do anything to have one more minute with him. I grieve for him every day.
“Thinking about "half packed" leaving her husband makes me sad.”
Leaving Her Marriage
Tip of the day:
Whatever your life and career goals are, it’s pursuing them that makes your ambitions and dreams more possible.