Dear Readers – Some insider views of first dates from online sites:

Two years ago I’d talked to a fellow gay male for a few weeks online, exchanged numbers, and information like our last names. We agreed there’d be no sex upon meeting.

His profile pictures showed the kind of guy both men and women fantasize over. He text-messaged me the day before we were to meet, asking if I was free. I was, he said he’d already driven to my city!

He’d looked me up in the phone book and got a motel room a block from my apartment. Despite this warning sign, I went for dinner. He looked nothing like his profile picture.

He spent most of the date saying he knew I was his soul mate and he envisioned us eventually getting married.

After dinner I said I had pressing matters at work and dropped him back to the motel. He asked me to come in so he could know what love felt like.

I ran to my car. He messaged the next day saying he had a great time and couldn't wait for things to progress. I replied that his behavior scared me and asked him to immediately cease contact. After a couple of months the (occasional) messages stopped.

I’ve learned from this to practice more caution with online dating sites, though I know it could’ve turned out a lot worse.

After talking online for a month, from her profile and chat, she sounded like a lady I’d like to pursue.

She said she worked full-time, enjoyed similar activities and hobbies as mine.

When we met for a dinner date, I was surprised to learn she didn't work. She also didn't look anything like her picture.

Worse, her every other word was money.

She said she’d like expensive trips paid by her next partner. She said he’d have to buy all her clothes, jewelry, make up, everything she wants.

And, she was speaking in a loud voice so others could hear!

As we finished the meal - $150.00 plus, and yes, I ordered the most expensive things, too - I excused myself for the washroom. Then I walked out and left her the bill.

While walking towards the washroom, several patrons and even some of the waiters asked me how I could be with someone who was so ignorant in talking all about money?

Bad experience, but you should’ve given your share, $75 plus tip, to a waiter.

There are a lot of people who look for vulnerable romantics via dating sites.
Make certain that someone knows where you are at all times and check in with them regularly. Also, have them call you during the date.
Be aware of your drinking limit, keeping your drink close so it can't be spiked with a date rape drug.
Never give your address to your new date. Meet him/her somewhere familiar.
Never disclose information regarding your children! We've all heard the stories about pedophiles. Don’t discuss income, or possessions, or divulge your work address.
Follow your gut feeling! If a date feels wrong or creepy, don't worry about hurting his/her feelings. Leave.

As a single, independent, middle-aged woman, I’ve discovered two major facts about online dating:

1) Almost every person, man or woman, lies about his or her age.

2) Most men are looking for sex and most women are looking for a relationship (and the women who aren’t, are looking for a free dinner).

FEEDBACK Regarding the woman who wrote, "I’m slim and toned. Yet many men who emailed me were visibly, heavily overweight." (July 4):

Reader – “How could this be considered an online dating "horror story?”? He’s not to her taste, fair enough. But a horror story?

“I know people do judge each other, especially on an online dating site where there’s little else to go on.

“However, all she had to do was ignore the online contact, or send a polite note saying "thanks, but I'm not interested."

“The other letters in that “horror story” column describe men who were liars, cheaters, or downright rude.

“I want to make it clear that being fat, on its own, is in no way worthy of being included in this group.”

Right on! The letter-writer DID unintentionally give that wrong impression, when her actual complaint was to note that fee-charging “match-up” dating sites often ignore people’s preferences.