During the holiday season, we went out to eat on several occasions. One evening, we managed to get a date night planned and found a quiet romantic restaurant just for the two of us. They seated us in a quiet corner, and we were enjoying each other’s company.
After the appetizers, another couple walked in and sat at the table closest to ours. She was very quiet, but he was loud, boisterous, rude to the server and ruined the atmosphere completely. I wanted to say something to the hostess, but my husband wouldn’t let me. He wanted to finish our meal and get out. We ate quickly, declined coffee and dessert, paid the bill and left.
I couldn’t get over the behaviour of the other patron, and that ended our romantic evening. Now I feel badly that I couldn’t just let it go and focus on my husband. How can I make it up to him?
Feeling Guilty
What a shame! I suggest you call the restaurant and let them know. Not out of anger, but for the betterment of their establishment. You probably won’t return, you’ll certainly tell others about your experience, and you declined coffee and dessert. All of that is money lost. Hopefully, they’ll appreciate your input.
As for your romantic evening, it’s too bad that neither of you thought to go somewhere else for coffee and dessert. That would have erased the bad ending to dinner. Offer to make it up to him, find another romantic spot, hire a babysitter and redo!
I had a hard time in high school. I got in with the wrong crowd, skipped school often, drank, started smoking and basically wasted my time. I was angry, frustrated and bored with my life. A friend’s older brother introduced me to some online gambling, and I had extremely good luck with it and made a fair amount of cash.
He also showed me how to have an online business that was borderline illegal but not enough to get arrested. The three of us worked this business for over a year and made even more money. I didn’t graduate high school, but felt I was ready for the “real world.”
I spent three years making one mistake after another. I finally sobered up, reconnected with my parents and decided it was time to get my high school diploma and head off to university. So here I am, at university in another city, living in an apartment with one other guy who is two years younger than me, and in class with students mainly three years younger than me.
I’ve met some very nice people, they’re good kids, smart, motivated and up for a good laugh. But sometimes I feel out of place since I’m so much older than they are. I don’t want them to think I’m boring when I opt out of the party scene, and I also don’t want them to judge me for being so “behind.”
How do I navigate this?
Mature Student
If the average university student starts right after high school, then most first year students are around 19. If I’ve done the math correctly, you’re only 21, maybe 22, at most 23. It’s not as if you’re 40. You may feel as though there’s a huge age gap, but there really isn’t.
The next time you’re all just hanging out, you could tell them your back story. That will explain why you bow out of the party scene and why you’re a few years older. Hopefully, they’ll respect you – and maybe even learn from your experiences.
Be proud of yourself for getting your life back on track.
FEEDBACK Regarding alone and lonely (Nov. 9):
Reader – “Sounds like she may be of mature in age. My personal experience highlighted the many scammers, fakes and players targeting the slightly older group. NEVER give out any personal information.
“What I’ve discovered as a red flag is a reluctance to meet in person. Of course, a meeting must be in a safe and secure location. My go-to are walks in a very public and open park or coffee in open coffee shop. If they don’t want to meet, block them.
“Also get involved in group activities that you enjoy. Focus on making friends and meeting people. The man she wants to meet may not be there, but a friend of his could be.
“And I would be VERY CAUTIOUS regarding her desire for sex and sexual intimacy. If she starts broadcasting, she’ll become a target. Plus, of course, protection is a must.”