Recently, after a long night of partying, I decided to crash out at my bestie’s house. Her brother fell asleep on the couch, so I took the spare bedroom. Sometime in the middle of the night, he came crawling into the bed.

I don’t know what came over us, but when we awoke in the morning, we started kissing. One thing led to another and we slept together. We’ve known each other forever and have NEVER had a thing. We fell back asleep and woke up laughing.

We decided not to make a thing of it, but when we emerged from the bedroom, my bestie/his sister was fuming! Apparently, she had come in to debrief about the night before and found us asleep in an embrace. Now she’s freaking out angry at both of us.

What do we do?

Besties and Sibs

You need to talk. First, decide with the brother if that was a one-off fun night, or if maybe you’re going to start dating. Agree to that. Then each of you needs to talk to your friend, separately. Just be honest. Tell her exactly what happened. If you both tell the truth, your stories will match up to a tee.

Then tell her how you feel, and what you two have decided to do. I bet she’s worried that she’s going to lose her bestie to her brother and vice versa. She’s probably scared that she’s going to get booted from this trio. Assure her that isn’t the case.

The truth is, YOU are the one who stands to lose the most. Because IF things go awry with a relationship with her brother, she will (probably) lean into him and not you. So, think about this before you jump into something with him. Be honest with him about your fears.

Remember, no one goes into a relationship with the intention of a hurtful, bad break up, but they do often happen.

My younger sister just called me from university crying, because she thinks that a piece of a condom got stuck inside her. Apparently, she was engaging in intimate behaviour with a guy she likes, when he exclaimed that he felt a snap. He removed himself from her, which was the right thing to do, and indeed, the condom was broken (and thankfully hadn’t been filled).

She was convinced that a piece broke off inside, but she didn’t want him to go looking or fishing because she felt awkward. She tried herself but found nothing.

I told her to go to the university health department and ask to see a gynecologist. But she’s embarrassed. How can I get her to go?

Worried Sis

If you are near enough to your sister, you could take her there yourself. She might just need some emotional support. If you’re not, then suggest to your sister that she ask a friend to accompany her.

It’s very important that she get an examination quickly. Condoms are meant for protection, and though safe to be inserted, they are NOT meant to remain inside a woman for long periods of time.

At the very least, you could FaceTime with your sister and walk her there, holding her virtual hand the whole way. EVERYONE goes through something embarrassing at some point in their life. It’s a rite of passage. She WILL get through this. You’re a good sister for trying to help her out. Make sure she gets to a doctor ASAP.

FEEDBACK Regarding the smelly relatives (Sept. 9):

Reader – “I am overwhelmed by scents on people in the park, at yoga, on the bus…. from creams, hair products, etc. Hospitals and schools have signs up requesting a scent-free environment for health reasons. Most cheap scents are toxic.

“Humour your ‘smelly relatives’ by commiserating on your son’s reluctance to shower and wearing his clothes for a week and ask how they deal with it. Discuss how many showers a week are needed for an active kid in their view and share yours.”

Reader #2 – “Please do not tell people to wash other people's clothes or give them reed diffusers. They might have allergies or asthma. Doing this can land someone in the ER. It’s better to have a gentle discussion rather than impose something onto another human being. If the people smell stale or musty, their house might have mould. No reed diffuser will fix that anyway.”