I was married for 10 years and we have a five-year-old daughter – but my ex needs to step up and be in her life on a regular basis, or else walk away. When I talk to him about this, he gets verbally abusive, saying I’m telling him what to do.

I want our daughter to have access to her father, until she says no.

His visits are once every two to six months.

I tried to include the new wife but she doesn't feel comfortable; they have their own new family.

His relatives say I’m right to get him in our daughter’s life but then I get a phone call saying what a bad mom I am.

If he walks away, I’m willing to forfeit child support (only $50 a week). I just can't take her crying for her daddy (I don't badmouth him to her.)

- Proud Mommy

Though your motives are heartfelt and valid, your approach is wrong. It’s obvious that the more you tell your ex what he needs to do, the more you push him further from accepting your view.

Worse, you have no right to insist he “walk away,” if he doesn’t visit more regularly.

For your daughter’s emotional well-being, having some visits from Dad are better than none.

If you back off their relationship, and let them get on with it, he may invite your daughter to visit his new family more often. She may become a comfortable part of his “other” life with her half-sibling.

And, you must recognize that this can become as acceptable to her as the regular, controlled visiting you now believe is the only way.

Offering to forego child support is a crummy way to tempt your ex to avoid his daughter. Do NOT do it.

I’ve been dating this man for seven months, five months “officially,” and initially we were seeing each other every day. He had a problem with my sexual past and was basically holding me on a leash in fear of my cheating. Many of the women he’d dated had cheated on him.

After an episode when he was trying to get me back after he broke off with me for a stupid reason, he said he loved me and wanted to be with me. But he now says he’s not "ready” - for me to meet his parents, or to say I love you again.

People tell me that I’m being used and he doesn’t want to be serious with me.

I’ve loved him from first meeting, and even though things were tough early on, I tried to make it work.

Am I wasting my time? He told me I shouldn't force him to say he loves me, since I know he does.

- Confused

This guy’s insecurity is in charge of your relationship. He keeps you wondering, instead of proudly moving forward together.

Not having you meet his parents is another way of holding back.

But remember this: If you break off just to test him, he’ll rush you again, since he likes to be the one in control.

It’s time for you to decide whether your love for him is strong enough to put up with these push-pull games. If yes, expect that he’ll take a lot of time before he allows himself to feel confident and “ready.”

Also, any slip on your part, of attention to another man, will be a major setback.

I'm 18.

When younger, I never felt strong, sexual desire with guys. I felt tempted by women, was much more sexually attracted to them and wanted a relationship.

I've had a few lesbian relationships but have recently started dating men again, and am more sexually involved.

Is bisexuality possible? Or is it just a way of denial or avoidance?

- Curious

You don’t seem to be denying or avoiding much, sexually speaking, so I suspect you’re still in a phase of sexual discovery and experimentation.

You’ve shown past evidence of being bisexual by your openness to relationships with either gender, yet you’re reluctant to define yourself that way.

Instead of having sex as a test of your leanings, I suggest you let your emotions guide you more. Find someone you care about and want to be with in every way, over the long-term, and you’ll feel more certain about your sexual identity.