I’ve lost the one I loved. I took her for granted; I should’ve been more supportive, and should not have said some things.

It’s been a year. I’ve dated several women since, but can’t completely move on. I believe she was the one for me.

She says she has no desire now to be with anyone, and is happy being alone. We talk often. I believe our friendship could last a lifetime. I’m struggling with this.

How can I be a friend to someone whom I love so much? Will I ever be able to move on? I want to; I can’t wait around hoping that one day we’ll be together again.

In Limbo

You’ve learned a lot since the break-up… about your own contribution to it. She too, has learned about herself, about being on her own. So the past relationship provided important self-growth and insights for you both.

Once you accept that this was a positive experience, and that breaking up was part of the journey, you should be able to move on.

When that happens, you may still stay friends. Over time, possibly when each of you has another partner, you’ll likely drift apart. But you’re a better person for having known her. Moving on isn’t a loss; it’s part of life.

My husband of 35 years has been depressed over family issues for two years. His younger brother’s a great guy, but controlled by his wife. His older brother’s schizophrenic.

Ever since my husband was a boy, his parents told him he’d inherit the family cottage and his younger brother the lot next door. His older brother was given thousands of dollars for rent and college courses over 20 years (to ease the parents’ guilt for not helping him in his teens for his mental illness, as they’d feared others would find out about him).

Our family of four spent every moment we could at the cottage. My husband was always available to his parents, as his siblings lived out west. They moved to the cottage full-time. After his dad died, the older brother moved in and started ordering his mom around.

She told us she was afraid of him, as he’d fly into rages. When she took her customary three-month trip to visit her younger son’s family, the older brother returned to his city apartment.

Shortly after his mom’s return to her cottage home, she announced she was selling the property and moving out west! We tried to buy it, but she wouldn't accept our offer of our home in exchange, plus monthly payments. She asked my husband, "What if you lose your job?”

She sold the property for $200,000.00 under the evaluation of the previous year. Our immediate family’s devastated and my husband so badly hurt by her lack of trust. He won't speak to her.

Worried Wife

Your husband needs a practical talk with a lawyer, and an open talk with a therapist. Legally, she’s entitled to do as she wishes with her property, despite promises made to young children.

Emotionally, it wasn’t necessarily distrust that moved her to sell, but rather concerns for her own financial future. Add possible fear of her older son’s ability to intimidate her, and secure the property for himself.

Your husband’s grieving his father’s loss, plus loss of his dreams. Not to mention his vision for your family’s future. But the cottage wasn’t his to count on. He should speak to his mother, or he loses her, too.

We’ve had our cat for nine years. He’s always been an outdoor cat. This was, and still is, against local bylaws.
Recently, a neighbor complained to local authorities about our cat being loose. We received a warning stating if we don't keep our cat inside, we could be fined up to $500.
I believe this is the time to bring him inside. However, my wife cannot imagine keeping him indoors. I can't convince her that whenever we let the cat out, we’re creating a divide in our neighborhood, breaking the law, and risking fines.
I’ve shared websites with her about cats who used to be outdoor cats but became indoor cats, all to no avail.

Unresolved Cat

Try it. Either the cat will adjust - with some reward strategies recommended by a veterinarian - or he won’t.

OR, you have a power struggle in your marriage and the cat’s caught between you two.