I’ve fallen in love with a man who’s 25 years older than me. He’s married and has a son and daughter, who are around the same age as me.

I really like his personality; he’s the only man I’ve met who knows how to treat women, and I’d been searching for someone like that. I feel that he’s my true husband.

But our relationship has to end in one day, so I can proceed in my life like any other girl.... to get married to someone and have babies.

The problem is that I can't feel the same way for anyone else. What can I do?

In the Shadows of Cairo 

Here’s what you can do: You can value yourself too much to accept a life as a “shadow” lover to a married man.

You can keep repeating, as you’ve already stated, that you need to move forward and meet a man who’s free to marry you. Repeat it till you believe it. And believe that you can love again, because you can.

You can be happy that you did meet someone who treated you well (so far), because it taught you that you won’t accept shabby, disrespectful treatment.

Now… you can also distance yourself from him and recognize that any man who would keep you as a mistress while he stays married - preventing you from the goals you have to marry and have children - IS being disrespectful to you in the long run.

I’m a college student who was in a long-distance relationship with a guy for one year. After a small misunderstanding, we broke up. I then got depressed.

I met another guy at school and he was really friendly with me. He soon proposed.

Though I liked him, I didn’t want to accept. He’s from another background and my parents won’t accept him. Also, I couldn’t forget my ex.

But then he was asking me out continuously, and without my realizing the significance of it to him, I’d been going out with him for several months.

When I finally said that I couldn’t be with him, he was very hurt, saying that he’s going to die if I stop.

I’m scared now and don’t know what to do. I know what I did was wrong, but I can’t betray my parents’ wishes about whom I eventually marry.

If I tell him this, he’ll threaten suicide or go tell my parents. What should I do?

Worried Sick

Talk to your parents immediately. Say that you do not wish to betray their hopes and dreams for you, and that’s why you must seek their understanding and help.

Explain as you did here, that the break-up left you sad and vulnerable, and this other young man was there constantly, seizing the opportunity to be with you.

When he rushed to propose, you realized he’d gotten the wrong message that you were interested in him but now he’s threatening you that he’ll die, and he may even come to talk to them.

They’ll probably ask you to take a break and come home awhile, till this situation calms down. But they are the people you must trust. His suicide threats may be exaggerated or real, but you cannot risk trying to deal with them on your own.

If he gets more threatening, such as to your person, or you feel he’s losing control, report his behavior to college officials, campus security, and to the police.

My wife says sex isn’t important any more; she’s had three kids, we’re mid-40s, and it’s more valuable to spend time as a family, at the kids’ events, helping them with homework, etc.

After that, we’re both exhausted. She says that’s how it’s supposed to be at this stage. I miss sex, but love her and also value family time. Is she right?

No. It’s normal to be tired, but that only means you two need to pare the busy schedule enough to find time for sex.

She’s VERY wrong that sex isn’t important from middle age on. Besides the medical fact that sex is good for health – a stress-buster, and producer of feel-good endorphins – it keeps older couples close in the years after kids and work don’t preoccupy them.

Keep reaching out, saying you love her, touching, cuddling. Make it about being together for comfort and intimacy rather than just about asking for sex.