My husband and I have just come through a very rough time. We separated for several months and fought like warriors. But in the end, we still love each other and want to wake up to each other every morning.

I’m just having trouble compromising on a few issues and he’s getting upset. I’m afraid he’s going to blow!

I like to go to bed early, read, look at my phone, and go to sleep. He likes to watch TV, fall asleep on the couch, then come to bed and snuggle. But I’m usually already asleep when he comes in. It’s not that I don’t want to snuggle, it’s just that the snuggle wakes me up and then I can’t fall back asleep; and his body makes my inner core temperature rise, and then I’m sweating and miserable.

There are a few more examples like this. What do I do?

Don’t wake me up!

Let’s deal with this specifically and then go bigger picture. Mine are just a few ideas on how to compromise; certainly, there are other options. Without being too scheduled, you could agree that one or two nights a week, you snuggle with him on the couch. That way, he gets his snuggle, but when he comes to bed, he needs to stay on his side. Or he could watch TV in bed (with earphones and only if this works for you), snuggle before you fall asleep and then fall asleep himself.

You could also agree that no matter what time he comes in, if you’re asleep, he's not to wake you. However, he is allowed to snuggle you in the mornings.

The bigger story here is that you two have differences, like most couples, and you need to figure out how to live together with those differences. Compromise isn’t always about two people changing to be more like what the other wants; that only works with some issues, for example, agreeing to eat 30 mins earlier (him) and 30 mins later (her).

He doesn’t have to come to bed early, unless he wants to get his snuggle in before you fall asleep. And you shouldn’t have to be woken up. Sleep is a precious commodity that we all need to be our best selves.

Talk to him about it and try different variations. Hopefully you two can work this out – and any other issues that WILL arise over the years.

My dad is starting to become forgetful. My mom passed away several years ago, and my dad was in fine physical and mental health (for his age). We didn’t worry about him living alone.

Recently, however, my siblings and I are starting to worry. The other day I called him at home. No answer. I called his cell phone. No answer. I wasn’t overly concerned. But then my brother called and said he’d tried both numbers with no answer.

We decided I would go over, since I work close by. I rang the bell, no answer. I let myself in; he wasn’t home. Just as I was about to call my brother, I saw dad sitting on the back deck.

He was surprised to see me, forgot I had a key, and wondered why I was there. He told me he left his phone inside and fell asleep reading.

Is this our problem?

Yes, aging parents become the responsibility of their children. The tables have turned and it’s now your turn to worry about him. I suggest turning on his location services on his cell phone so you can see where he is. That’s a start.

Then sit down with your siblings and discuss how you’ll handle your dad’s aging.

FEEDBACK Regarding the man left out of his mom’s will (May 1):

Reader – “This isn't just about money. It’s about fairness, respect, and protecting his aging mother’s interests — especially when she may not feel empowered to speak up, given that her daughter and grandson live in the home.

“As a young man he respected his parents' home and their values. Now, he watches as the same home is being consumed by freeloading behaviour, unchecked spending, and what seems to be an unequal division of family assets, like the coin collection.

“Financial success doesn’t erase one’s right to a fair share, especially when that success came through personal sacrifice, discipline, and hard work.

“Many adult children who care about their aging parents struggle with these dynamics: family members who take advantage, inheritances that disappear, and parents who feel too vulnerable to intervene.

“This shows his deep concern and loyalty, to his potential inheritance, and the dignity and well-being of his family.”