My boyfriend of two years can’t stop chatting with women on the internet. I’ve confronted him but he just keeps doing it even though I’ve told him how it makes me feel. 

I know it’s wrong that I go into his email and check his MSN, but I can’t help it! He’s continually talking to this one woman from his past communication, though I found him sending pictures of his penis to her after we got together!

I want to tell him I know he’s still chatting with her but it hurts so much that even though I think it’s just internet BS, it really bothers me!

- What to Do?

Cut him off – that is, his ties to you. You’ve tolerated his disrespect and immaturity too long. Penis pictures are NOT “bull.” 

No, instead they’re evidence of a childish guy who hasn’t any sense to know how stupid his behaviour reveals him to be. He’s crude, and has nothing better to offer women… especially not to YOU, for whom he’s showing no concern about your feelings or humiliation.

Dump him.

My girlfriend’s been acting cold to me; she’s very busy with school and projects. Whenever I see her, I insist on carrying her heavy bag sometimes and offer her hot drinks when it’s cold. She always rejects my offers. 

Phone calls have been on the decline probably because of strict parents on both sides.

However, I learned that she was talking to other boys. She acknowledged it, I then felt really sad, our good-byes were always the sweetest parts of our conversations with promises to see each other the next day.

I couldn’t help but feel something was wrong when she said her mother was screaming and she had to go. She avoided me in school the next day.

I’ve discovered through others that she was feeling possessed by me and that I wasn’t giving her enough room to breathe.

Yet we’d made a promise that we’d tell each other if we had any problems with each other.

I’ve sent her an email apologizing. No reply. I want to kill myself.

- Shattered Heart

There are people who care about you far too much to lose you – Number One and Two are your parents whose strictness comes from love, and wanting to protect you from emotional involvements that are too intense for you to handle at this age. 

You’ve put all your self-esteem into this young relationship, instead of realizing that you’ve got a lot to offer personally, and a full future ahead. Recognize that this girlfriend – though she may’ve been fine in the early stages – represents just the start of learning about relationships and how to handle them best, for your sake as well as the other person’s.

Your initial sadness is understandable, because every relationship has its value, and both of you were sincere at the start. Yet you both had to know it was unlikely to be a lasting union, given your age and stage in life.

Do NOT let depression take hold. Call your local distress centre listed in then Yellow Pages. Experienced people are available 24-7, used to talking to people who feel despondent; they can refer you to ongoing help and give you hope to go on.

If possible, talk to your parents or a trusted relative or community member, for a perspective on all the good things ahead.

My daughter’s father and I were in a 12-year relationship when very young, and constantly stressed by his controlling mother and our immature arguments. 

Our daughter is now 7, and her father has moved on to an older woman.

I still love him and had hopes of getting back together.

She’s convinced him to take me to court for custody.

We’re currently not speaking, he doesn’t even call his daughter.

- Hurt and Confused

Put your energies into your daughter, giving her as much love and security as possible. Be prepared for any custody fight by keeping a record of his current distance from his daughter, BUT, if he resumes regular contact, allow it and be civil, because it’s far better for her emotionally than losing his interest in her. 

Have faith in your own relationship and skills as a mother; but forget imagining you’ll get back together. It’s not likely to happen.