I play tennis at an indoor facility during the winter months. I usually play with the same group of people. We have a roster, and we play twice a week. Someone is always out of town, or under the weather, or has an appointment, so it works out.

Recently, I arrived at the court to find out that no one was available, but a friend of someone was coming to play with me. When he arrived, I was immediately attracted to him, which wasn’t part of the game plan. We then started to rally and he was good, but I could tell immediately that I was better.

We started to play and I let him get a few points, and he legit won a few points, but I beat him. He was insistent we play again, and this time he was trying to beat me, so I played better and beat him again. He insisted we keep playing, and he was getting upset, maybe frustrated, definitely angry…. So, I just kept winning every point.

He left without even a goodbye. I don’t really care but he then told his friend, who is one of my regular partners, that I am a cheater! How do I deal with this?

Tennis Tantrum

Your friend with whom you play regularly knows you better than this guy and has been playing tennis with you for years. They know that you’re not a cheater, regardless of what their friend told them.

This guy, though he may have tickled your fancy, is clearly a sore loser. And you don’t want to have any connection with that. Tell your mutual friend that you don’t want to play with their friend ever again. It might behoove you to make a “rule” amongst your tennis group that no one is allowed to send in a replacement without the players’ present’s approval.

My daughter used to date the nicest man. He was such a sweetheart! They had a lovely relationship, and everyone thought they would get married. Unfortunately, and unbeknownst to us, he was harbouring a secret. Again, unfortunately, he was caught cheating on my daughter with a man.

He broke her heart. Deep down we are all happy for him to live his truest self, but we were all devastated at how he came out (he didn’t), and how he dragged my daughter around in his charade.

She was so hurt that she completely turtled and refused to go out or meet anyone new for almost a year. We understood her pain and let her wallow, but after several months, we started to worry. When she finally shed her pain, she went out with a vengeance and had fun with any guy who looked at her.

Again, we were worried about her, but didn’t want to get in her way of getting over her ex.

It’s two years later and she seems to have settled down. She’s started dating a new man and he’s, well, just OK. He’s not her typical type, physically. And he’s quite dull from the few times I’ve met him. But he treats her very well and she seems happy.

Do we invest ourselves, or…?

Hurt Parents

No, I would say not to get invested in this relationship. Though you say she’s been with other men since her breakup, none of them were a relationship. This is probably her rebound relationship and won’t last the duration.

But, for your daughter’s sake, you could show some interest and get to know this young man.  You never know what the future holds, so you don’t want to be rude, judgmental, or standoffish.

Support your daughter. She’s who matters.

FEEDBACK Regarding HRT (Sept. 18):
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Remember: what works for you may not work for others and vice versa. Best to consult a doctor.