I'd made a video with a picture of Ryan Gosling, hoping to find my future husband, who may resemble him. Somehow I have manifested this.
In February, I got a new roommate. I spent a lot of time with him before he actually moved in, and fell fast for him.
Maybe too fast, because on a group outing he asked out one of my best friends. I was immediately a bit devastated, especially when I had told my best friend that I'd already developed strong feelings for him.
I don't think they have true feelings for one another, nor is it serious. However, each day that goes by I feel that I'm not showing him my authentic self because I'm putting up a wall since he's dating my friend.
I don't know if he likes me romantically at all, but I really think that if he gave me a shot we would make a great couple. Do I risk my new friendship with my roommate and tell him how I feel? Or do I just let it go, and if he really wanted me he'd make his move? I feel like I'm wasting time in not telling him. What shall I do?
You're "lost" in Hollywood dreams. You can't "manifest" a real romance by wishing on videos of movie stars.
You've built yourself an image and fallen for your own screenplay.
Time to read your alternate script: If he really wanted you, he would've made his move.
Do NOT risk embarrassing both of you and making your roommate situation uncomfortable, by expressing feelings he doesn't share. Asking out your friend made that obvious. Even if they are not a serious couple, you'd be foolish to wait in the wings for their break-up, and set yourself up for unnecessary disappointment again.
Comment-I have read with interest recent comments from women who bravely realized they were in unhealthy relationships and decided to move on with their lives, free of control, and verbal and emotional abuse.
It took my daughter many years of hurt and disappointment to leave the narcissist she'd married.
It's a difficult move, especially when there is now a child involved. However, she and her daughter are far better off without living with him. Unfortunately, she will always have a relationship with him because of the baby.
I am always concerned that she may give him another chance because narcissistic people can be very convincing. But I don't believe they can ever change.
She needs to be strong for her daughter, and herself, and build up the self-esteem she lost from being with him. She has strong support from her family.
We couldn't convince her not to marry him, and had to support her choice. I hope we can successfully encourage her to live the life she deserves.
Every night at 7pm, my neighbours in the next apartment play the same opera (I don't know it's name) very loudly.
It's driving me crazy. What can I do without creating a feud between us?
Find an opportunity to ask your neighbour the opera's name, and the story behind their repeated playing. It may strike up a comfortable understanding between you, such that you can then ask if they'd mind playing it softer.
However, if the reaction's negative, try ear plugs, alternate music in your own place (at normal decibels) and/or getting out before 7pm several times weekly. Finally, complain to the building manager.
FEEDBACK Regarding the girl whose best friend's boyfriend became close friends with her and asked her about the possibility of feelings between them (Feb. 29):
Reader - "I'm in a similar situation myself, where I like this girl but she has a boyfriend. It seems like it was fate or something that this article about a similar situation was posted.
"Apparently, the girl I like is unhappy and there's a potential chance for me to try and go out with her. Yet I don't want to ruin the friendship she and I already have, by prying my way in between them.
"Your idea of giving that other couple space and letting them work out their own issues, is the best advice I could've been given, too. I just want to see this girl happy; she deserves better in the end whether that someone is me or a completely different person."
Tip of the day:
When your imagination drives your feelings about someone, stop daydreaming and look at what's really there - or not.