I'm an attractive 25-year-old girl with a great job, great family, and great friends. I've had a few short-term relationships and one long-term serious one.

I'm single now, but more than anything, ready for a commitment. I want to get married and have kids. I feel like I'm on a deadline and panicky that I don't have a boyfriend.

I'm extremely social, but very picky. I met a guy in the summer who I really liked, but he's out West so we've just texted, Skyped once, and had one phone call. He said he was going to visit, but hasn't.

I feel like I've missed past opportunities with guys who liked me, but I wasn't ready. I don't know where to meet guys; I tried online dating, but it's not for me.

I want to meet someone great and I'm sick of being single. Time’s passing me by. How can I get a boyfriend ASAP?

Want a Good Man

Who set your panic button on “Deadline?” It’s some ghostly message from the past, because most modern women of 25 - especially those with great jobs, family, friends – have the confidence to gain more independence and good judgment before pining for marriage.

You sound needy, which is unattractive to guys. Most men in your age range are NOT panicking or ready for marriage and children.

Turn off the timer and put your enthusiasm into learning more, having adventures, travel, fun, and meeting people of both genders.

It’ll make you more interesting and ultimately attract men you’ll want for themselves, not just to meet a deadline.

I recently discovered that my best friend of three years has had a boyfriend for seven months.

I felt I wasn't really her BFF because best friends don't hide anything.

Everything changed. She stopped hanging out with me and instead she’d call him.

I felt abandoned, but she didn't feel anything. That hurt me even more, so I talked to her boyfriend (with her permission).

I realized he was a nice guy and he wanted my friend to hang with me.

We all agreed that she’d call him three days weekly and hang with me four days.

But soon the time with me decreased to none. So one day I yelled at her, saying how I felt and why. 

When another friend got us talking again, she said she knew it was her fault.

I didn’t think I could trust her the same way and said we should just be far-friends.

I see her more often, but she’s acting as though nothing happened!

I thought she’d say sorry and make it up to me. Am I wrong?

Still Bothered

The unwritten “rules” of best friends have to stay flexible or else no BFF could have a boyfriend, or be close to other people, too.

You’ve learned through this experience, that’s unrealistic. Yes, your friend should’ve told you about her boyfriend, but she may’ve been afraid to hurt you, been shy about the whole thing, maybe scared it wouldn’t last.

Now you’ve both arrived at a different phase of friendship, yet you’re not letting it be natural, by still holding onto hurt.

Drop it. She’s either worth still knowing and hanging with, some of the time, or she’s not. If you go with staying friends, don’t keep stewing about the past events.

Friendship is for enjoyment, and when that doesn’t happen, move on to people whom you do enjoy. Just make sure your expectations of friendships change, as you all grow older, and have different experiences at different stages.

FEEDBACK Regarding the woman who wrote of past addiction to Oxycodone (Nov. 13):

Reader – “I’m very tired of hearing how addictive Oxycodone is, from people who used it improperly and, in her case, illegally.

“I’ve been taking Oxycodone, on and off, for over six years, and I’m not addicted, don’t sell it, and don’t abuse it. When my condition is better, I don’t need it, and don’t miss it.

“Yet, because of people like her, I’m treated like a criminal whenever I pick up a prescription. Oxycodone is used to treat moderate to severe pain – not, as this woman did, to treat depression. Nor, like her, should you take someone else’s prescription.

“She created her addiction, not the drug. Millions of pain sufferers now being monitored, cross-examined, treated with suspicion and doubt, having personal information recorded, and even being refused this medication, because of drug abusers, aren’t the problem, but are paying the price.”