My partner of 15 years and I are both educators. She was promoted to Vice-Principal; I'm in the classroom, two different schools.

When I have school social functions I tell her the dates and invite her along. When it's "no," I don't attend either, and we spend a quiet evening at home.

In her new position, she informs me of social gatherings she's attending. No invitation for me. I'd like the privilege to say "No" just as I give her. I'm feeling left out, and that I'm not wanted.

She's also attending retirement functions, which usually involve going out for supper with her Principal. I've asked her to leave school early (4pm) so we could spend some quiet time together (we did this when teaching) but she claims she can't leave before 5:15 to 5:30pm. I've said that her position and her social functions are interfering in our relationship. She doesn't see it.

Hurt

New jobs in any field, especially involving administration, often call for some different work practices. It may be that her level is discouraged from having spouses attend social functions. It may be frowned upon to leave the workplace early. She's wrong not to explain these attitudes (if not rules) to you.

She also may be less sensitive by nature than you, which perhaps hasn't affected your relationship so much in the past. Don't just fret and build resentment. Explain to her how you're feeling and why, and ask for some reassurance that she still values the relationship as much as you do.

If so, you should both try to find other ways to enjoy being together, such as special weekend plans.

I've been married 20 years and have never felt like a "couple." My husband feels his job is to go to work, period. I'm a stay-at-home mom of three fantastic teenagers. I do everything including all the outside work.

I have to ask him to help with the dishes, etc. and he gets mad about me asking, projecting his anger at the kids to help me. He is always angry. Our kids hate him and his constant anger/yelling at them. I try to keep the home front as calm as I can for them and have an excellent rapport with them.

I've worked over the years but he always shows up to see whom I'm working with. He's extremely jealous. When he wants sex, I have no interest since I feel nothing for him. Then of course he gets angry. He makes fun of me to make himself look good. I'm so stressed I can't sleep. I can't just leave since I can't support my children and myself. And they don't want to be with him alone. I will not go to a shelter. I want the kids to stay in their home and be supported by their friends.

Trapped

Since you've already made up your mind to stay, try to make the best of your situation. But, learn through online searches, what your legal rights are... such as, support for your kids, and accommodation for you, etc. Depending on separation/divorce laws for your jurisdiction, you may be entitled to more than you think. And teenagers have a right to say in court that they fear their father and won't stay alone with him.

Meanwhile, they should still be helping you do the outside work and the dishes. He's wrong to yell at them, but he's right that you're sheltering them from responsibilities they should have.

I've been in a long-distance relationship for three years. We see each other on weekends. I feel I have the perfect man. But, is it right for him to go out for dinner with females? He says he's just friends, and he feels guilty because if the situation were reversed, he'd be upset. I trust him but feel it can turn into something more. He feels he's doing nothing wrong.

Uncomfortable

-"Just friends" is fine IF, 1) he's not going out with just one female, alone, and frequently, 2) they're not sharing close confidences and getting emotionally attached, 3) she's not harbouring feelings for him so that he's unwittingly misleading her to think there's a chance.

Tell him all this and ask him to think hard and honestly if any of these elements are involved. He doesn't have to answer; he just has to recognize the truth. Then, trust his decision.