I’ve been very good "work friends" with a woman for ten years. We’ve travelled together and shared many great times.

After trying to get pregnant for several years, my husband and I decided to stop trying. I’ve come to a place of acceptance, but also loving the path my life has taken.

I’m a teacher, and have plenty of time with kids, and my husband and I are so happy.

I mentioned this to a group of people during lunch, when someone asked if I was planning to have kids.

My friend/co-worker had a fit. She went on about how kids are the best things, it's a mistake to stop trying, and I’ll never know love like the love I’d have for a child, etc.

I didn't respond. She’s since been freezing me out and telling people at work that it's because I’m so against having kids.

I am not. It was my personal decision. How can I handle this situation?

Misunderstood on Kids

Since you’re both in a field where communication is the essential tool, tell her you need to talk, even if she disagrees with your perspective.

Tell her straight up that she’s misinterpreted your view, and is misrepresenting you to others.

Say clearly that you made a personal choice that in no way diminishes or denigrates the feelings that loving parents experience.

You may not be able to stay friends with someone so judgmental. But if you want to try, ask why she’s so personally upset.

I suspect she envied your happy relationship, despite the absence of children.

My parents held a gathering at home recently, and a family I barely remembered came. The son’s my age (15), but we were best friends when we were very young neighbours.

I’m shy. He tried to converse, but we spoke little because people would ask me to do something.

His stepfather kept telling him to talk to me. His mother talked to me about her son. I discovered we had many things in common e.g. we share a career choice in singing and entertainment.

He talked to my mom, or my sister, and told them he wanted me to sing for him, and I said he should sing for me, but we were both shy about it.

When he was leaving, we talked a little about music.

Then his parents suggested we exchange numbers, hang out, go to the mall, etc. I just smiled; it seemed like they were forcing us to date, making it awkward.

I later learned his mother now thinks I don't like her son. It’s not true, they’re really nice people. I thought I’d send her a text message saying I’m shy but I’d love for her to pass my number on to him.

I feel bad about the whole thing; I want to get to know him again, but I don’t want to seem weird and make a move on the guy.

Awkward Pressure

It’s thoughtful and mature of you, despite shyness, to wish to clear the air with his mom (and him too, by extension).

The bottom line is, you’d be happy to get together with him, based on a mutual interest in music. Say this, in your text.

Tell your mom about it, too, so she isn’t taken by surprise by anything his mother says or suggests. She can also check your wording, if you like, to make sure you don’t come across as “weird, and making moves.”

FEEDBACK - Regarding the person who uses alcohol as a pain killer from a debilitating skin condition (Dec. 17):

Reader – “Years ago, I met a gentleman who’s wife was extremely chemically sensitive, and she was recommended to use an infrared sauna, to sweat out any nasty chemicals that cannot be eliminated by the bowels or kidneys (so they build up in the body’s tissues).

“I researched for six months before purchasing my own sauna, and although I didn’t have any health problems, I use it regularly, and the first thing I noticed, was that my towels that I use in the sauna smell from chemicals, though they’re washed after every sauna use.

“The gentleman should find a therapist with an INFRARED SAUNA - not a steam sauna – and give it a try. We live in a toxic environment.”

Ellie – I agree with the research suggestion, plus discussion with a doctor, before proceeding (in case heat isn’t advised).