My good friend of 15 years was diagnosed with Muscular Dystrophy at 19, shortly after joining the Military. He was immediately released and put on permanent disability.

He's now in his late-30's and lies about his military past, saying he was a pilot, a combat medic, a weapons specialist, etc., who saw multiple tours overseas during times of war. Our mutual friends and I shrug off his tales and change the subject.

I've started a serious relationship and we invited some of our friends, including this guy, to meet. He told her friends "war stories"...including that he has the names of everyone he killed in the war tattooed on his leg.

Her friends were freaked out! I angrily told him he couldn't tell complete strangers he's killed a bunch of people, and that he shouldn't lie. My girlfriend and her friends are comfortable around him, despite my explaining his situation.

Now he won't answer or return my calls. I apologized for getting angry with him, but won't apologize for telling him not to lie. What should I do?

War Buddy

Apologize again for your anger. You're entitled to ask him not to lie in a way that puts off other people you care about, BUT, you also know he was hurt and humiliated by being exposed.

Continue trying to reach him; have other friends arrange a get-together you both attend.

Meanwhile, don't let your new relationship dampen the real compassion you have for this guy. He's clearly never gotten over disappointment at not being in the Military, nor having to live with a serious medical condition from a young age. A loving girlfriend will hopefully get over being "freaked" and respect that this buddy's important to you.

When I met my fiancé, my once-close aunt didn't care that I'm happy and the rest of the family adores him. When my grandmother, and then my grandfather, both died (they raised me), she asked that my fiancé not attend the funeral. She even told my sister I was being physically abused (not true).

My aunt hasn't talked to me since my grandfather's funeral, but an insurance policy from my grandfather lists us both as beneficiaries. She called to say he meant to change the policy to have her get half, and me and her two children the other half. My grandfather was a smart man. He changed all his policies after my grandmother and my dad passed away. He'd have changed this one as well to list my cousins on it.

I'm struggling with what to do, once the half of the money comes in. It's not a lot, but she wouldn't have contacted me if it wasn't about money. Even if I give my cousins part of the share listed to me, she'll probably forget about me the minute the cheque is written. Also, the rest of the estate went to her anyway.

Torn

This isn't about keeping peace in the family, so stop thinking you have to be the one to give in to her demands. This aunt is far too intrusive in your life, and far more concerned with getting what she wants, than about you or your needs and wants.

She cannot change the insurance policy, and neither should you. Since your grandparents raised you, they clearly considered you - and this policy treats you - as a daughter, equal to her when it comes to legacy. Keep your share of the money; you've already lost this relative.

My friends have a country house on a beautiful property; they've kindly invited me for weekends there many times. I always bring generous food gifts (baked goods, fruit) and house gifts like books, etc.

When I overheard them discussing difficulties meeting mortgage payments, I started giving them $100 for "my" room. Now, they've asked me to come live with them and contribute to their mortgage, so they can keep the place.

I like them a lot, and could get a smaller, cheaper city place than I now have, for weekdays. But is this a good idea?

Unsure

It's a bad idea. Do NOT change your basic living accommodation to fulfill their needs more than your own. If you move and tire of the arrangement, you'd be beholden to them, or ruin the friendship, since they'd blame you for losing the place. If affordable, pay a weekend guesthouse rate; do nothing else.