My good friend, early-30's, has struggled with commitment issues, and can put up a defensive exterior very quickly.

She started seeing this new man six weeks ago, and confided that she liked him but they’re taking it slow, emotionally.

They spend a lot of time together and he's told her that he doesn't want to mess things up, because he likes her, too. 
 However, I started online dating a couple of months ago and recently received a message from a guy… her guy!

I’d seen him briefly at a function with her, so I knew it was definitely he. I told him that I know him, that I know he’s seeing my friend, and that she’s awesome.

I'm unsure if I should tell my friend that he's on an online dating site. Never mind that he messaged me!

If there’s been no talk of real commitment, is it okay that he's checking things out online?

Do I owe it to my friend to tell her that he's doing this?

I feel that she may overreact if I tell her and ruin something that could end up working out great.

Tough Decision

Instead of pushing your friend’s escape button, contact the guy one more time with the message that if she learns he’s trolling for other dates, she’ll shut him out. Have no further contact with him about this.

Their six-weeks’ connection is very early – so it’d be unfair to raise her doubts.

Some people will think “a good friend” has to tell on this guy. But I believe that’d be interfering too far too soon.

However, if you start to suspect that he’s just stringing her along, you could then suggest she ask him if he’s dating others, before she gets too emotionally involved.

Since moving here, I’ve noticed that whenever I drive, a pedestrian invariably walks behind, or in front of, my car as it’s moving, without regard for their own safety.

Something – a sense of privilege? - makes people believe that they’ll not get hit, that the driver will stop for them.

But what if they driver doesn’t see them? What if the brakes fail or the car skids despite the driver`s best efforts?

Example: I was driving in the right lane doing 50km/h and the driver in the left lane stopped his car in the middle of traffic and (I assume), waved to a teenage girl to go ahead and cross the street.

Neither one had realized there are TWO lanes of traffic. She ran across the road in front of the huge SUV, but I couldn’t even see her until she was almost clear of his front bumper.

I slammed the brakes and hit the horn to alert her. She actually slowed down directly in front of my car as it’s skidding, to give me a dirty look.

Meanwhile, my tires were sliding on the fresh snow. I only missed her by inches.

And, with my heart pounding and hands shaking, she turned back and gave me another nasty look.

My public reminder: Right of way doesn’t replace awareness and common sense. No one’s invincible.

Worried Driver

You raise serious concerns. Many of us live in traffic-jammed cities and rush about busy lives, distracted. Pedestrians walk with their eyes and ears on their smart phones, and drivers are more focused on hands-free conversations, or actual messaging.

So I’ve published this commentary hoping readers will take a moment to re-set their own alerts to their own and others’ safety.

I’m a mid-20s man, who recently married a wonderful woman whom I love dearly, but we only see each other about an hour daily due to our work schedules.

I was diagnosed with Dysthymia in high school, and thought I’d overcome it.

However, I now feel extremely low, sleep only a couple of hours nightly, and my energy’s almost non-existent.

Even in groups of people, I feel so alone. How can I relieve this depression without medication?

Need Help

Dysthymia is a mild but chronic form of depression that interferes with the ability to function and enjoy life.

You’ve overcome it in the past, so you can again.

Response to medications can be faster in people with dysthymia - your mood may brighten considerably after only a few weeks.

I urge you to see a doctor experienced with this mood disorder, for both treatment and management strategies.