My girlfriend comes from an abusive mother who psychologically makes her feel inferior. During our relationship, the mother kicked her out, and she came to live with me. One month later, the mother came around pretending nothing ever happened.

I refused to accept her in my life because of the way she treats her daughter. My girlfriend asked me to be forgiving but my pride made me refuse. We argued and she went back to her mother's house.

It's been almost a month and she hasn't answered my calls and is completely ignoring me. What should I do?

Too Proud

You forced your girlfriend to choose, and she showed you SHE wasn't ready to exclude her mother from her life. If you want to get together as partners again, you have to accept that there will be a relationship between those two.

She may one day blow up and cut off ties with her mother, but again, she'll still have the right to renew them. That connection is theirs, not yours to fix or sever.

Apologize to her, and to her mother too. Say that you love her and tried to be her protector - which her mom should understand - but you misjudged the strength of their bond. (It may even be co-dependency, but that's for your girlfriend to work out, with counseling as the best route).

However, if your girlfriend and you decide to live together again, you both should set some agreed boundaries regarding her mom's involvement in your life as a couple, e.g. how often she calls, and when she visits, etc.

I'm mid-20s, have had one long-term relationship, and a few shorter/non-serious relationships in the past. Last winter, I ended the long relationship because I had lost respect for myself for putting up with a bad situation.

Recently, an old friend and I started seeing each other, first as friends only. Several weeks later, he expressed deeper feelings, which he says he's had for a long time.

I said I wasn't ready for a new relationship, and though I like him, I want be sure I'm not rebounding.

He said that he'd wait for me. After I returned from a vacation with my girlfriends, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I agreed, but asked to take it slowly.

He's told me he loves me. I'm attracted to him and have "love" for him on some level. But something still seems to be missing. I realize that I'm holding myself back. Do I just need time to heal and get over my self-doubt?

Not Head over Heels

This may be your transitional relationship, or he's not The One, or you agreed to be his girlfriend too soon, or you're still emotionally cold... or, whatever. When there are so many possible reasons for self-doubt, you don't just dismiss those thoughts, and you also don't pick an answer out of a hat.

You can keep dating the guy but be honest - you're not "in love" the way he is, though you care about him, are attracted to him, appreciate how he is with you, etc., etc.

If on that basis he's open to keep dating, fine, but don't get pushed to a next stage unless your feelings deepen.

If nothing changes in a few months, take a break... for both your sakes. You'll know after time on your own if you miss him (and not just miss having someone around catering to you).

I'm 16, my brother's 15, but he acts really different. He treats others like they're his slaves, he calls them stupid and stuff like that. I don't know how to tell him not to do that because every time I try to talk to him, he says I'm stupid and don't know what I'm talking about. I'm tired of being treated like this.

Upset

Talk to your parents. Explain that you want your brother to be liked and not treat people badly, which will get him disliked and rejected instead.

This is not "ratting" on him; rather you're showing concern for him to have friends and to also have a bond with you.

He sounds unsure of himself, using pushiness as though he doubts others will listen to him otherwise. Your parents may consider counseling (for him and the family) to help him gain the confidence to be an equal among others.