I’m in a relationship with a beautiful woman I love, and until days ago, lived with her and her daughters. We’ve had a pretty good relationship, with some issues recently.

Our intimate life is/was very good.

Several months ago, I made the poor choice to have some inappropriate conversations with a couple of women online. We exchanged photos.

I had no intention to meet or "hook up" with anyone.

I misplaced my cell phone. My girlfriend found it one day and got some information from the SIM card, which exposed some photos that I’d failed to delete.

I've apologized. Our debate is that, from her perspective, I’ve cheated. In my opinion, I acted very inappropriately and regret my actions, but did not cheat.

I never met anyone or did anything.

In the past, my girlfriend’s ex-husband had gone online, explored and acted on his bisexuality. So I fully understand her insecurities.

Would you consider what I did as cheating?

Regretful

You certainly placed yourself in a position to cheat.

The fact you’d deleted some of the photos reveals you were trying to hide your activity.

And knowing about her ex, your behaviour was akin to playing with fire.

You want to win this debate on a technicality. But you’re still guilty - of risking the relationship, of insensitivity to her, and setting the stage for cheating.

Accept the charge.

Then ask yourself why you did this, and try to explain it to her, even if the answer is “foolish, reckless impulse.”

However, if the “issues” you glossed over in your email have kept her insecure, and you uncomfortable, you should consider couples’ counselling.

You need to get past having “cheated” on the trust needed between you.

I’m in a pretty good relationship with my girlfriend of over one year - great sex, always laughing, enjoying each other.

However, she's not as affectionate as I’d like... minimal “electronic” communication during the day, etc.

I can't decide if she's The One, or if I'm meant to continue looking for someone else.

What's Going On?

The number of texts she sends does NOT define the level of her affection. Great sex, laughter, and enjoyable company are far more real measures.

Not everyone’s into constant texts and messaging, especially if they’re working or studying.

If she’s affectionate in person, you don’t need to seek and compare. Or you’ll lose a good thing.

I work for a very small company. My supervisor and I have kids the same age at the same school, so we’re unable to both take off work at the same time.

As the boss, she trumps me.

I miss out on almost all workday school activities because she’s off. There’s no Human Resources department.

She said this is how all companies operate.

Otherwise, she’s an ideal and generous boss but won't budge on this.

What can I do (finding a new job isn’t an option)?

Missing Out

Her unfairness makes her a lot less than “ideal” as a person, let alone a boss.

List every possible solution: Example, on kids’ school activity days, you work early, return after the event, and stay late.

Or, you work from home. Or, you work a weekend day to make up.

Then talk to her. Say that her role model has made you all the more conscious of not supporting your own kids at these activities. Say you have some ideas and would also appreciate hers.

If there’s no change, research labour laws in your jurisdiction. If there’s no redress there, you should re-consider working elsewhere.

My mother’s too attached and needy of me.

I'm 31, single, living with her. She’s constantly, needlessly worried about me, insisting I report to her.

In our Muslim culture we don't usually move out until marriage.

However, I don't feel I’m getting support to become a confident, independent woman. I fear having the same relationship with her till I’m old.

I don't have anyone I can openly discuss this with. I don't think my mother’s open to therapy on this.

She’s bluntly told me that I don't need anything in the world except for her to be happy.

Overwhelmed

Seek a women’s group in your cultural community. There must be some women who’ve learned to negotiate some independence without causing a breach in the mother-daughter relationship.

Meanwhile, limit stressful exchanges by listing a basic schedule of when you regularly work, visit with friends, and shop with friends.