Two years ago, my husband of 32 years suddenly announced, "I want you out of my life." We had two children, now 24 and 17.

He'd been fooling around with another woman whom I knew, and now lives with her in our lovely home (I left; our kids decided to stay, it's close to the teenager's school and all their friends).

I'm ready to go off the deep end as this woman considers herself their "stepmother"! What an insult!

My older son's doing well, having finished university, and trying to get on a local police force. The younger one's failing subjects and seeing a guidance counsellor.

I'm depressed, attending a mood disorder clinic as well as an independent therapist, but it's helping little at this early stage.

I'm experiencing post-traumatic stress syndrome. How do I deal with a long-term infidelity situation when I'd been faithful all those years?

Heart and Soul-broken

Heal and Deal. Your self-care is a wise focus - by probing mood disorder, and starting therapy (which takes time and sticking-to-it), you'll learn new ways to react and problem-solve.

"Dealing" will get easier. As an involved mother, finding practical approaches to your sons' needs are essential. The "other" woman IS in their lives so forget the perceived insult and listen to how your sons find her. Remember, they know you are their mom.

In time, you'll see your husband's infidelity in a new light. HE cheated - without confronting and discussing whatever problems existed between you to give the marriage a chance. He's unlikely to be a true partner to this woman either.

Meanwhile, YOU are learning from professionals, gaining insight, and growing.

Sooner than you think - if you stay the course you're on - both your heart and soul will feel stronger.

When I was a summer student at 19, I was working temporarily in the dispatch office of a trucking company. This was in the 1970s.

One day myself and another girl were caught smoking a joint by our supervisor. The other girl was older and a full-time employee. She was given a two-week suspension without pay. I was called into the boss' office.

He said I'd violated his trust and I had a choice - he'd let me go or I could submit to a spanking!

I needed the job and didn't want my parents to find out about me using drugs, so I agreed to the spanking. I lay across his knee and he swatted me with my sandal on the seat of my jeans with a dozen solid whacks!

I never forgot the lesson and never used drugs again.  By the end of the summer, I'd developed a close bond with this man, and deeply appreciated his actions towards me. Your thoughts?

On Political Correctness

It's about physical assault, not "correctness." No person has the legal right to intentionally whack another (your "consent" doesn't count because the boss was in a position of authority over you).

There are many ways to positively influence a young adult, without resorting to threats and pain. The fact that it "worked" relates to those times - when you weren't aware that he had no right to such action - and your innocence.

I go to a gym to focus on my fitness and well-being. There are always several women chatting loudly to each other about their personal lives. How can I get them to be quiet without being rude?

You can't. Shift to another time, space or mental zone.

FEEDBACK Regarding the daughter having problems with her mother's estate (May 29):

Reader - "Banks have financial and estate facilities to help and would rather be contacted quickly. They have their own legal departments who look after these situations daily.

"Our family's dealing with a Will probate which was complicated by a previous lawyer who claimed to be an expert. Our bank's experts are getting this resolved and helping us plan how to handle the estate's proceeds.

"She also needs to ask for the bank's financial advisor or have one assigned. Smaller branches normally share a trained expert with whom the financial advisor can make an appointment.

"Also, bigger banks have the power to help deal with creditors. Once matters like this are put in experts' hands, a giant weight is lifted from people and the problems get resolved in a more efficient fashion than an untrained person can ordinarily do."