I am kind of crushing hard on my cousin’s husband. He’s adorable and whenever he looks at me, I get butterflies. I’m so self-conscious about my feelings that whenever he comes over to say hello and give me a kiss on the cheek, I get flustered because I think people will gossip.

My cousin is one of my closest friends, even though we are six years apart. And her husband is four years older than her, so there’s a decade between me and him. Do you think she knows how I feel? Do you think I should tell her? Do you think he would ever cheat on her with me?

Cheating Cousin

I’m honestly not sure if this is a prank question but thought I’d answer it just in case.

NO, NO, NO! You should not be thinking about fooling around with your cousin’s husband, no matter how old he is. No, I don’t think he’s into you, but I don’t know. I’ve never met any of you. No, I don’t think you should tell your cousin about your crush on her husband.

I think you should find someone else to focus your attention on. I’m not concerned about the age gap, though for all I know you’re underage. I’m far more concerned about the fact that you’re interested in a married man, who, by nature of the fact that he’s married, should be off-limits. Not to mention the fact that he’s your cousin’s husband!

Just NO!

I’ve been single for three years after my husband left me for his yoga instructor. I want to find myself in a new relationship, but I’m so starved for affection that I want to have sex more than I want to find love. Having said that, I do NOT want to go online to find a sexual partner.

What do I do? I NEED sex! But I WANT love.

Starved and Deprived

I’m so sorry you are going through this drought. You may not like my answer, but you’ve lived this long without sex, maybe you can just persevere a little bit longer? I only suggest that because you vehemently don’t want to go online for a sexual partner.

Try focusing on finding someone nice to date. A good date can turn into a hot goodnight kiss. And that can turn into more, if you desire. At least AFTER a date, you know a little about the other person with whom you’re swapping spit. And intimacy is always better with someone you like.

I suggest looking for love. The sex will come.

I just started dating this very nice woman. She is shy and quiet and so we have been taking things very slowly. We have been on four dates, and I only just went in for the kiss.

It was awful! She was very aggressive, sucked on my tongue until I gagged, and was the worst kisser I have ever encountered. It’s so strange how she’s so shy, but so not shy when kissing.

I like her personality but not when she turns into this person. Do I just end it? Or do I try to talk to her about her technique?

Kissing Krazy

The answer depends on how much you enjoyed her company on your four dates. There’s no harm in speaking up, because the worst thing would be that you never see her again – which would happen if you just ended it anyway.

So, I suggest giving her a chance. Maybe that’s what her last partner liked, and she doesn’t know better. Show her what you like – and what you don’t – and see if she’s interested in changing her style.

FEEDBACK Regarding body hair and odour (July 12):

Reader – “I found your advice to be problematic on two counts: First, you’re equating hairiness with smelling bad and dirtiness. I’m an Italian Canadian and I love my body hair. So does my wife. I keep on top of showering and feel that body hair can be perfectly sexy. So, let’s lay off the ‘fur shaming’.

“Secondly, body hair provides a valuable function. It reduces friction in the sensitive areas of our body where skin runs on skin. You shave it, get stubble that abrades the sensitive skin causing irritation, rashes and ingrown hairs that get infected. That’s not so sexy.

“Women have been subjected to the beauty myth and coerced into spending their hard-earned money and free time to become ‘slaves to the shave’.

“Sex can be a messy business and yes there are some odours on occasion. You can keep it clean and real.”

Furry and Fun