Dear Readers – Many of you responded with resources and information for “Emotional Roller Coaster” (Feb. 7) whose husband and she believe he has adult dyslexia, due to difficulties with reading comprehension, short-term memory, and chronological thinking.

The wife is also stressed raising two preschoolers, repeated need to help him find work, and keeping an immaculate house (which helps him function).

Reader #1 – “Your advice not to self-diagnose is very sound. The man should get a complete psycho-educational assessment by a competent psychologist with expertise in information processing.

“After that, he can learn what accommodations would work best for him, and family members can learn how to make things work better for all.”

Reader #2 – “Suggest she look up "Irlen Syndrome," a visual processing problem which can lead to dyslexic symptoms, headaches, migraines, light sensitivity, organizational problems, short term memory issues, ADHD and many other challenges.

“There’s a way to help deal with these sorts of symptoms. See Irlen.com for information, local screeners and diagnosticians.”

Ellie - Irlen Syndrome, also known as Scotopic Sensitivity Syndrome, was first identified by Educational Psychologist Helen Irlen while she was working with adult learners in the early 1980's. Until described in her book, Reading by the Colours, there was no explanation or treatment for this perceptual disorder. Many people were misdiagnosed as dyslexic or slow learners.

Reader #3 – “With regard to dyslexia/learning disabilities, I suggest a Learning Disability Association, the Ontario-based one has various local chapters throughout the province.”

Reader #4 – “Having dealt with adult ADD/ADHD with several family members, I recognize the symptoms. The dyslexia is only a small part of what she's described.
“Perception and sequencing problems often travel with ADD/ADHD. The form is different in how it manifests itself in adults, compared to how it shows up in children, also with differences between men and women.

“A wonderfully helpful book is, You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy? by Kate Kelly & Peggy Ramundo on adult ADD/ADHD.”
Reader #5 – “In existence for over 30 years, "The Arrowsmith Program” has sites and participating schools in Canada and the U.S., with a main school in Toronto.

“It’s a cognitive program for learning disabilities and does assessments/programming for all ages with adults at the school in full-time and part-time classes.

“As a retired special education resource teacher, I’ve worked with this program for 11 years and have seen amazing results.”

Reader #6 – “Read The Woman Who Changed Her Brain by Barbara Arrowsmith-Young. The book helps us recognize and understand many brain conditions. The underlying message is that how we perceive the world and respond to it can be changed.

“This can have a dramatic effect on all relationships,
particularly to oneself.”

Reader #7 – “My husband had those symptoms, plus he’d lost some hearing. It turned out that he had a brain tumour the size of a golf ball.

“We learned he’d had it "for at least 20 years” and possibly from birth, and it had become malignant cancer for some four years by the time it was diagnosed.”

Ellie – This story highlights why I often suggest, if there are ongoing physical changes or worrying behaviours, start with a medical check to rule out any underlying health factors involved.

Reader #8 – “I was diagnosed at 44 (I’m 51) with Dyslexia and ADHD. I fully believe that he’s showing more signs of ADD, or a combination of both. Another recommended book is, The Gift of Dyslexia, by Ronald D. Davis.”

My mother’s Hispanic. My father and I both assumed I’d have a Quinceanera celebration of my 15^th birthday soon, like any other Hispanic girl.

But my mother said a flat-out ‘No.’ I’m devastated, depressed for several days, and crying.

It seems conceited or materialistic to be so upset over a party, but it’s a big part of growing up as a Hispanic girl. I’d expected the Quinceanera of my dreams. Should I accept this? Or try to talk to my mother?

Disappointment in America

Listen to Mom’s reasons, rather than argue. She clearly has strong feelings that caused her refusal. This celebration for Latin American girls at 15 signifies the transition to womanhood.

Your mother may feel your parents can’t afford the party you expect, or she may dislike a focus on presents. She may feel “the transition” suggests freedom for grown-up behavior when still too young. Try to negotiate a compromise.