Our teenager met a girl who, within days, confessed her love and desire to live together. They recently announced that she’ll accompany him to college and wants our support (money).
We’re outraged that she’s counting on us supporting her, and our son also working heavily while he’s in an expensive, competitive program. He graduated high school, comes from a stable middle-class home and loving, involved family.
The girl’s mother has five children from three different unmarried fathers, her brother’s in jail and she has a volatile relationship with her family. She hasn’t finished high school and admits her family often “bails” at night to avoid paying rent. She stated she isn’t comfortable with an involved family like ours.
We’ve withdrawn our financial support from our son and said we won’t do anything that encourages this plan. We’ve been clear that an unexpected pregnancy won’t result in ANY increased support from us emotionally or financially.
We want my son to wake up and get himself out of this disastrous situation. What can we do to help that along?
- Deeply Worried

You’re doing the necessary things to end any belief/hope that you’ll accept their plan. BUT, this is a delicate spot for your son and you need to be careful of what you say regarding this girl.
He’s not concerned with her background, nor suspicious of her (as you are) so won’t make links between how she was raised and her desired dependency on him and you. Drop reference to her family history. Deal only with the present and the logical facts.
Outline them again, so that he understands: Your responsibility is to help him get an education, period. If he works, supports another and performs badly at school, your role is over. He’s chosen independence NOW instead of focusing on studies for a more successful future.
BUT, if he continues with school, and they continue to date, you’ll welcome her as his girlfriend - with no obligation to her. She can work and go back to school on her own steam.
Don’t try to talk him out of seeing her, just be firm about what you’re willing to support, or not.

My husband of 25 years doesn't drink, gamble, cheat or beat me; he’s a fantastic breadwinner. However, we’ve had sex five times in the last 10 years.  
He’s a workaholic with a negative outlook. Early on, we saw several counsellors, but didn't apply their suggestions.
I’ve worked hard to change and lost a lot of weight. I now have a good life, good friends plus peace and serenity. I’m lonely, but want for nothing.
We have nothing in common except our children and lead separate lives. I believe I can live with him forever - but I'm not sure I want to. Do I walk away on the chance that I’ll find someone more suitable, or settle for "good enough?"
- Perplexed

Divorce and dating aren’t options that come with guarantees of peace and serenity. And if having a “fantastic breadwinner” is a priority, it may be a strong element keeping you there. Otherwise, there are risks you have to be prepared to take.
Only you can make this decision. Where kids are involved, most marriages deserve another chance – unless there’s abuse, or you cannot stand living together any longer.
Tell your husband you’re at the turning point: You two need marital therapy and a mutual commitment to work at it for at least six months. If he refuses, there’s no chance.

We bought a two-suite house with my dad; we’re downstairs with one bedroom, he and my brothers are upstairs with three bedrooms. The upstairs needs work but we’re afraid to spend more money, we paid a lot for the house.
Our newborn sleeps in our room in his playpen. The floors are paper-thin. My dad got a dog that barks a lot and poops on the sidewalk and we end up stepping in it. Dad’s unemployed and on welfare. We can't move because he has no money. This is a deal gone badly.  
- Need Advice

It’s a bad financial deal; so don’t turn it into a bad relationship one too. Get to several advisers in this field – banker, mortgage broker, real estate person (not necessarily the ones that did this deal for you). Ask for several plans and their time-lines. In the meantime, get a rug and poop-scoop bags for dad!