My husband’s very attached to his family and I hate to see him stress out, yet I don’t really think I should get involved.     
      Long story: We married in 2003; his Mom died a year later; his Dad started dating 6 months later and soon married his girlfriend. His Dad’s mother then passed away the following year.     
      All the siblings feel his wife’s a gold-digger. She’s rude, yells a lot and is very opinionated. She wants my children to call her Grandma, which would break my husband’s heart. The stress she puts on the family is also straining her marriage, when all of us just want Dad to be happy.      
      Also, my husband’s brother has Downs Syndrome and still lives at home. The new wife’s son has autism, but doesn’t live at home.    
      Grandma’s will specifically stated that none of her money was to be touched by this new wife. She, however, renovated Grandma's entire house - the loophole to getting her hands on all the money.      
      Any ideas as to how to make my family happy?
      - Dad's New Wife

If the family goal is for your father-in-law to be happy, lead by example by accepting his wife. She’s there, presumably involved with looking after your brother-in-law; she has a right to want the home she’s living in to reflect her taste; and her negative personality traits are likely coming out due to feeling resented, watched, gossiped about and disliked.     
      If you can gain her trust as someone who’s not out to do her in, perhaps she’ll then understand a gentle explanation that she’ll be more appreciated as her own person if she’s called “Nana Sue” or some such name, rather than the same name that “Grandma” had.    
      Mostly, your first instinct was right: Don’t get overly involved, or tell the others how to behave. There’ve been a series of losses for the immediate family and they need time to adjust.

My son’s girlfriend is pregnant; they hadn’t planned to marry. My son wants a role in the child’s life. He’s a low earner and can’t afford support payments, but I can.
      - Financial Troubles

Help towards an innocent child’s well being is always the right thing to do. Get a legal agreement with the mother, involving your son, too, both in participation of raising the child and paying what he can.

Dear Readers - Some interesting feedback on living with someone who’s lost their sexual drive and interest (October 24 column):
      Reader - If the writer’s husband has no libido he should see his doctor and find out the reason why. If he won't, then there’s a pretty good chance that he’s having an affair. This was the case for me.       
My husband blamed his lack of libido on his diabetes but it turned out that he’d lost interest in me and was seeing someone else. He lied to me for years. I suspected it, but was too trusting.
Being alone is never easy, but it sounds to me like the wife in question already is.
      Reader - My ideas for the woman who hasn’t had sex in three years: 1) Enroll in a course that interests her, upgrade her skills and get a job; 2) Buy a good vibrator and learn to pleasure herself. It will relieve the sexual tension and help free her to enjoy other things in life; 3) Engage and encourage her husband to join with her in mutual fun things, such as dining out, book clubs, adopt a pet from a shelter etc.   
 Maybe when the pressure’s off her work-stressed husband, he may open up about his intimacy issues.

What do you do when your longtime best friend is constantly spending time with her boyfriend? Our relationship isn’t what it used to be. I resent her boyfriend, and am starting to resent her.     
      We, her single friends, understand that she has to see him as well, but we never thought that it’d end up taking a toll on our friendship.    
      I’ve told her my feelings; she made an effort to change her ways, but it only lasted two weeks.
      - Friendship in Peril

Imagine being pulled between a new boyfriend and your old pals. I bet you’d hope your friends would understand that the relationship needs nurturing, there’s only so much free time and you shouldn’t have to prove you care about them.    
      Try to plan ahead with her for specific catch-up time. She needs to learn to balance her schedule … but she shouldn’t be pushed to choose between you and him.