Dear Readers – Following are questions that the hour’s time didn’t allow, on the popular Live Chat topic: He/She Won’t Commit (May 8):

My girlfriend keeps delaying our wedding plans because she wants a bigger wedding party and more exotic honeymoon than we can afford. She says we’ll only do this once, so it has to be great, or we’ll always regret it and she’ll always feel disappointed.

She also says if we settle for less now, we’ll always settle for less. It’s been five years, we hit it off right away, I feel she’s dragging this out too long and taking away the excitement.

She sounds addicted to Fantasy – dreaming that if she waits long enough she’ll be “Rich and Famous”, and/or that Married Life will be Perfect.

If she’s this unrealistic about who you two are, and what you can afford together, you have to wonder if you’re “Perfect” enough to make it into her wedding picture, and for how long.

Anyone who keeps waving the “regret” card –“we’ll always regret, always settle for less” – is very manipulative, and keeps pushing your insecurity button. Straighten your spine and say that YOU regret waiting for false goals.

Then take a mind-clearing break. Let her come after you with a non-negotiable date including deposits paid, and soon… or end the relationship which is becoming demeaning to you.

My husband travels for work once a month, for a week. It’s hard on me and on the kids (three), but he always goes off with a big smile. I know he likes the change of scenery from the routines of home and family.

I accepted this for the past six years, but recently he was offered a job with more money, more responsibility but travel only once a year - and he refused it. He said he was good at the other job, and his clients depended on him.

I feel he’s hanging onto his escape hatch, while I’m stuck here doing everything. I’m feeling more and more resentful.

He long ago found his own way to “not commit”… to routine. It’s time for you to arrange “alone” time for yourself, too – e.g. a once-weekly babysitter for free time, and cleaning help to relieve some of those chores he avoids when away.

Try it, as a compromise to both your needs for some freedom. If he complains about the cost, remind him he opted for the lesser income so he could be freer, so some things have to give to cover this easier routing for him, and it’s no longer only you.

My fiancée and I live together in my house. I’ve been married before, have two kids in high school, and one in public school, and want him to sign a pre-nuptial agreement regarding the house.

Friends say I can make arrangements in my will, too, that say he can stay in the house after I die, but the kids inherit it if he sells or dies. He won’t sign. He says he’s committed to spending his life with me and I should trust that he’ll take care of the kids.

You need legal information and a lawyer’s advice on pre-nups, wills, and his rights to common-law benefits that may already exist in your jurisdiction.

This isn’t a commitment issue and shouldn’t be a power struggle. It’s about legal rights you both should’ve learned and discussed before moving in together, since kids and assets were involved. Do it now.

We’ve been dating for six months, but he won’t say the “L” word until we’ve moved in together and seen how it goes for at least a year. He says he’s been badly burned before, and “love” is meaningless if you find out the person’s impossible to live with, which happened to him twice.

But moving in is a big step, and means a lot of changes. I don’t want to risk it as a “let’s see” experiment. Also, I don’t like being judged in a “test” of how I behave.

If he doesn’t love you already, why would you go through all that change? Say so. Someone who wants to test you is already setting up a way out… as in, in case you score less than 100% on his private checklist. That’s easy to say about anyone.

It’s also a control move to keep that “L” word dangling like a carrot. Move on, without him.