My ex-boyfriend and I dated for almost three months when he cheated on me. I didn't understand why he was text-messaging so many girls. When I went through his phone I discovered he was seeing this girl and broke up with him.

But he still says he loves me, even when he's with his girlfriend now. It's sad that he would do that to me, considering he says he wants to be with me and marry me. I feel I didn't experience love, because he used me for my money and always wanted me to buy his liquor. How can I get over him?

Sad

Count your available cash, and you'll feel better. You're lucky that you're not still being used by this jerk. Sure he "loves" you, but only for what he can get. Within a very short time, he was able to con you with the "L" word, hit on other women, hook up with another girlfriend, and get his booze free.

End the contact. He's still trying to con you.

I recently moved back home with my mom and stepdad after graduating from university. It's difficult after being independent for four years.

Things have been particularly awkward with my stepdad since a recent big fight. My mom had given away our old George Foreman grill to one of my best friends. My friend thanked her, but not my stepdad since he wasn't present.

He was furious, saying that my friend "was always coming over and taking whatever she could." I was deeply insulted, since she'd never asked for the gift.

My mom and I told him he was out of line for insulting my friend. He refused to apologize and accused me of being overly sensitive. Mom began agreeing that I was a wet blanket in the house. They then pointed out my character flaws for an hour. Every time I raise the incident since with my mom, she says forget about it.

I've barely spoken to my stepdad since and still feel incredibly offended, alienated from my family, and hurt. I've broached the subject of family counselling and neither is willing to participate. Must I just suck it up until I can afford to move out, or is there a way to reconcile this?

Frustrated and Hurt

Suck up some reality: It's a difficult adjustment for everyone when adult children return home to live. You're back living under the roof of parents who were ready for a next stage of their lives, until you returned. That's not mean or exclusionary - it's natural.

Your stepdad felt offended as much as you - it's his house and he wasn't asked about something being given away. Yes, he over-reacted, and so did you, since he didn't insult your friend directly.

This isn't about an old grill, but about discomfort. All three of you have valid awkwardness living together again, and valid needs to negotiate some terms, expectations, and boundaries.

Focus on the situation, not your offended stance. Talk to your mom about a realistic timeline for you to become independent and make plans to move out. Include your stepdad so that he can see this isn't a permanent dynamic for anyone. You may find he has new respect for you, as he realizes that you're thinking realistically and responsibly about the future - e.g. looking for jobs, upgrade courses, workshops, whatever's needed for you to move to your next life stage.

Why do two parents who aren't living together (separated, divorced, or never married) refer to themselves as "single parents?"

The perception is that they're doing childrearing on their own. However, when both parents are still involved, the duties are usually split.

When I was informed that my new boss was a "single father" I believed he'd understand what I go through with my daughter.

Wrong. He had his boys only every other weekend and one night weekly - and I had to pick them up from school.

The true "single" parent is more accurately a "solo" parent. In my case, there's no other parent to take my child overnight, pay child support, be there when she's sick, or cheer her on when she achieves.

I'm a solo parent who happens to be single.

Venting

Yes, a "label" can differ from reality. I'm betting a lot of parents out there will want to respond.