My wife wears a perfume that no one has ever heard of. She found it in a shop in New York 20 years ago and has worn it ever since. I love it; it’s her scent. We have two little boys, and they also love what they call “mommy smell.”

Unfortunately, I think other people love it as much as I do. My wife has recently started a new job, and I think one of the men she works with is attracted to her scent. I have literally seen him smelling her hair. It’s creepy.

Of course, when I mentioned it to her, she assumed I was acting out of jealousy. Maybe I am…. but she is my wife. I don’t want other people smelling her hair, or any other part of her body for that matter. That’s uncool.

How do I deal with his situation?

Scent of Love

The hair smelling colleague is indeed creepy. If I were your wife, I would stop wearing my perfume at work simply because of that. That gives me the ick.

Talk to your wife and start by telling her that she’s right – you are jealous. You love her and you don’t want ANY man smelling her hair in a desirable manner. Hopefully you’re not jealous by nature, and only in this circumstance. Explain to her how it makes you feel – it’s physiological – and why you don’t like the feeling any more than she does. Tell her how proud you are of her for her new job. And then ask her if she could refrain from wearing her special scent to work, and to also be wary of the hair smeller.

Hopefully she can appreciate your candor, your honesty and your concern for her well-being.

My boyfriend is a health nut and gym rat. He’s always eating healthy, fully on top of his nutrition, and always focused on his food intake. He doesn’t bother me or pressure me because I work out very differently than he does, and I’m tiny, just hitting five feet. He’s over six feet and jacked.

My only issue is that he has a tin of tuna once a day, usually in a salad, sometimes in a sandwich, depending on his calorie and carb intake that day. I don’t mind tuna, but the smell lingers in his apartment, on his clothes and on his breath. It’s a huge turn off to have fish breath. And I almost throw up when I walk into his place.

I’ve tried to tell him, but he doesn’t smell or taste it. It’s a big deal for me. What do I do?

Fish Face

You need to have a sit down with your boyfriend and come prepared with ideas and options. For example, you could have a separate mini garbage can for anything fishy, with the goal that he takes it out of the house with him when he leaves. You could buy him a toothbrush and toothpaste to keep in his gym bag, with the goal that after he eats fish, at any time of day, he will brush his teeth before leaving the house (and if he forgets, he has tools in his gym bag). And you could find the best room deodorizer out there and set it up in his kitchen or by the front door, so the fish smell becomes neutralized and doesn’t overpower the entire house.

By doing that, you are showing him that you accept his need/desire to eat tuna, you’re not asking him to stop, and that you’re trying to work WITH him, so you’re not negatively affected by his lifestyle.

FEEDBACK Regarding feeling guilty (May 13):
Reader – “Since she’s back working almost full-time and has parents who have helped her, she should begin to pay her co-worker the money back now, especially since she’s learned it’s causing an issue. Even five dollars a week would be a show of good faith and would keep the idea front and centre that she does regard this money as a loan.

“People who let time go by without trying to repay, often convince themselves that they don’t really have to. And that tends to annoy those who stepped in to help without being clear as to whether that help was a gift or a loan.  Sadly, the offer and acceptance of monetary assistance without clear understanding as to whether it’s a gift or a loan, ends many long friendships.  And guilt is your conscience sending you a message. Do the right thing and there’s no need to feel it.”