Am I ungrateful and spoiled for not wanting a fake designer bag? How do I tell my significant other that I don’t want anything fake without him feeling I’m ungrateful.
My birthday just passed, and my husband was struggling with what to gift me. He kept asking what I wanted, and I said that I didn’t want anything. Then I jokingly said that I wanted a really expensive designer bag.
I didn’t expect him to take me seriously as we have two children including a new baby, and we can’t afford lavish presents at this time.
He said that my gift would be late as he’s spending a lot of time looking and researching for the bag that I wanted, while I had repeatedly told him I’d be happy with new makeup and skincare.
It’s put a strain on our relationship, and it’s put me in an awkward situation. He bought a “super-fake” designer bag for a good price.
He’s extremely upset and thinks that I’m ungrateful because he spent so much time looking for it online and making sure that the bag is a perfect replica of the real one that even authenticators will have a hard time differentiating it from a real one.
He argues that it’s the principles that he’s upset about. He made sure that the bag is made with the same materials, design, and quality as the original, so it’s just as good as an authentic one.
I do agree and understand that if it’s made with the same materials, design, and quality then it might as well be real. But it’s not.
I told him that with the money that he spent on this bag, I would’ve been happy with a less expensive brand that cost the same as what he spent.
I can’t win. I do appreciate the time he spent to make me happy with what he has.
Am I rude and ungrateful for feeling like it was a bad thought to begin with, to gift anything fake? Please help!
There’s something more significant happening here than a purse purchase. While you “jokingly” said you wanted “a really expensive designer bag” for your birthday, you weren’t being fully open with your husband on more significant matters as a couple: limited finances, and the new baby.
Your persistent argument over “knock-offs,” (currently the rage among many relishing the lower price), is actually reflecting your mood.
I empathize with you, as your response to your husband’s efforts isn’t inconsistent with common postpartum “baby blues” which usually only last a couple of weeks, according to the Mayo Clinic.
But if you’re currently feeling in a negative mood in general, it’s an important signal to see your doctor to prevent a longer-lasting depression.
My somewhat new lady friend and I are 70s and fit. We have a vigorous all-natural sex life. She’s more than content with things but I have a concern for her (I’m noticing pink stains).
Should we reduce the number of orgasms and dial down the touchy stuff?
If your sex life is equally and mutually great for you both, that’s terrific... unless it’s sometimes too vigorous for your partner. While seniors can be happily satisfied sexually, the tissues in certain delicate areas may tear a little.
Anyone regularly bleeding from having sex needs to see their family physician.
Readers Commentary Regarding Missing our Grandkids (April 3) & Suffering as Well (May 23):
“Both seem completely baffled as to why they’ve been denied access to their grandchildren and expressed the loss as an inalienable right.
“As a parent who’s denied my children access to my mother since they were toddlers, I find it unbelievable that these grandparents don’t know the reason, which may be at the root of why the parents acted as they did.
“In my situation, my mother put me in criminal harm which resulted in charges laid and jail time of the accused when I was much older. My mother denied her involvement and that the harm occurred.
“As a parent who chose to protect and love my children, putting them at risk was never an option. I think in most cases denying access to a grandchild is not a petty act but the only acceptable choice.”
Not Everyone Deserves a Second Chance
Tip of the day:
When a husband’s diligently-sought birthday gift only annoys you, postpartum “baby blues” may be involved.