My daughter's husband is a very good provider and father; they have three lovely children who are adolescents and teens, a big house, and take family vacations.

Yet I see red flags: Her husband stays out late supposedly at work, he goes on guys-only gambling trips; at family events he's never at her side.

She does occasional volunteer work but mostly busies herself with compulsive shopping, and constantly having company over. They're never alone as a couple.

I'm divorced from a husband who cheated, and just KNOW her marriage will someday end. She's smart but never finished college; I fear she'll have no idea how to live independently. How can I get her to face reality?

Trouble Ahead

Be a Mama, not a Meddler. Your nose for trouble may be acute OR, you may be projecting from your own experience rather than hers. Also, you do NOT "know" whatever private agreements they've come to on how they live their life together. Nor should you ask.

However, you can introduce your daughter to the idea of doing more for her own self-satisfaction. Example: Compliment her on the skills she brings to volunteer work, and suggest she could take them to another level, by taking some workshops, a computer course, whatever interests her.

She could also complete her college degree, which would open the door to many more interests, volunteer areas, and/or the work force.

Beyond that, just be supportive to who she is, and stop assuming what she's going to be.

I have two awesome little sisters under the age of seven; the older one's in school, and the younger isn't. My parents have been far less strict with these two as they're an older couple. I'm early-20s, living with them for a few months.
My youngest sister can be happy one moment and in tears the next. She cries if she doesn't get her way, or if she gets in trouble, or something won't work right. Once she starts crying, it takes her FOREVER to calm down and stop.
We've used time-outs, naptime, grounding and taking toys away and she still gets into trouble. She isn't in school because she won't use the toilet. When we encourage her (through offering stickers, praise and prizes) she sits on the toilet crying and screaming. She hasn't ever moved her bowels while on the toilet!

My mother gives in easily to her; my stepfather doesn't, though he also doesn't step in. I feel like I'm the parent/nanny putting my foot down. I've never had children and am tired of fighting with her. How can we curb her behavior?

Frustrated Big Sis

The best sister act you can perform is helping your mom and stepdad see that they need professional help to deal with their child, who's clearly suffering herself from inner frustrations and behaviour patterns she can't undo without knowledgeable guidance.

Be kind and caring when explaining to your parents that this isn't about them being older or doing badly at parenting. It's about a sensitive child who needs a different approach, which a behaviour expert can help them develop.

To help your parents understand that they're not alone in needing to learn more effective strategies, I recommend you give them the book, Raising Your Spirited Child, by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka.

There are many other good parenting guides on the self-help shelves. But seeing a psychologist experienced in behaviour issues will hopefully provide a direct route to everyone understanding your sister's needs.

I emigrated here eight years ago, got a good job, married my husband; we have a four year old daughter. Every two years I've travelled to my home country to see my widowed mother.

But my last visit there along with my daughter went badly. My mother was bossier than ever, criticizing everything I did, said, or fed my child. I couldn't wait to leave. How can I go back - as I must do- and not have her move me to tears and arguing over her attempts to "correct" me?

Miserable Trip

Be less surprised at the bossiness, and more prepared. Think of a few areas on which to ask her "expertise" - from how to make some of her recipes, to having her help you write a family history for your child.

By showing her she's still important in your life she'll feel less need to prove she still knows "better."