I befriended a young woman co-worker when I sensed trouble in her marriage. She suggested I help by spending time with her husband. Our families quickly became friends.       
      But I noticed a trail of lies regarding her whereabouts. She confided that she was spending time with a married male friend, but they were just friends.    
      She’d leave work early, but arrive home late. I kept her secret. During a recent business trip, I discovered that she invited her “friend” to stay with her at the hotel. I was shocked and devastated.      
      I’m pretty sure she knows that I know. Weeks later, a similar tryst occurred. She now knows that I’m annoyed with her relationship.      
      I regret having put myself in the middle of this. I feel it’s not my place to say anything to her husband, but how can I allow this betrayal to continue? I tried telling her to determine if she really loves her spouse, or else end the marriage. She was insulted, and infuriated.      I want to distance my family from hers, but don’t want to leave them without any support. I care for their well-being. Should I just walk away?
      - Divided Loyalties

Tell her you care for her and her husband, both, but can’t be a contributor to her double life and her ability to cheat and lie. As such, you’ll have to back off both friendships, and hope she resolves the situation, one way or the other.      
      While it may feel uncomfortable to distance yourself from her husband as well, it may be better for him to be on his own more, allowing for more awareness of her absences. Hopefully, he’ll confront her and these two will have to acknowledge that the marriage isn’t working.      
      If either of them asks for your support and/or advice at that time, recommend that they go to counselling and be open about whatever’s missing between them, so they can give the union another chance before making decisions for the future.

My boyfriend was in a serious car accident and was calling out my name. His mother and I met at the hospital for the first time and I could see that she didn’t like me.    
      The next day, my boyfriend held on to my hand like he was never going to see me again. Before his surgery, he asked the social worker to have me on his contact list, along with his parents.     
      His mother wanted him to sign over power of attorney to her. He did, so she could help with the house and finances, but not knowing she’d go crazy with control.     
      The next day she had me removed from the contact list and said I couldn’t go on his property or return to the hospital to see him. How do I handle this situation as I miss him dearly and know that he needs me?
      - Out in the Cold

Focus on your boyfriend’s best interests rather than on her control. Call the hospital social worker, explain the situation and ask if your guy is able to make sound decisions.      
      If so, the contact list is not about power of attorney over property and finances and can be separated out from that realm, so that he can state his own choices.    
      If that worker can’t help, consider getting legal advice, since all you want is to visit your boyfriend and offer support.

Our daughter, 18, is a great university student and studies hard. Recently, my wife found a bottle of vodka in her dorm. She explained that the roommates have fake ID's and each have two or three shots before attending a party.
      Nobody in the family drinks or smokes. We don’t know what to tell her as she’ll say she’s been honest with us and is old enough. Or, she might do this behind our backs. We don’t to want lose her trust and have this habit become worse.
      - Concerned Parents

Tell her you appreciate her honesty, but explain that while you trust her judgment, you can’t speak for others; and that the possibilities among her cohorts for drunk driving, spiked drinks and irresponsible behaviour is naturally worrisome. Also, fake ID’s can mean trouble with police, if caught.    
      She knows your values and will likely rise to your best expectations by being treated with respect, not demands.