I'm 29, and with the same woman since age 22 - she's ten years older than me and has a son, seven. Two years ago we almost broke up but she said she was pregnant and I stayed.

Six months into the pregnancy she had a stillbirth from falling down stairs at the mall. I'd offered to go to all the doctor appointments with her during the pregnancy, but she always declined saying she didn't want me to take time off work. She'd fallen the day before a scheduled ultrasound. I picked her up from the hospital after her fall.

I've repeatedly asked her to go to the hospital with me to pick up the baby's ashes and fill out the proper paper work involved but she says it's too painful and she refuses. Due to privacy laws the hospital can't tell me anything without her consent.

So I have some doubt about whether she was really pregnant. Now we've been trying for four-five months for another baby and nothing's happening; we've both had tests done. My results show nothing wrong on my end; she'll get her results next month. I love her and her son very much, but have always wanted a child of my own.

If her results show she can't have more kids, I'll be torn about whether to continue in the relationship.

Critical Point

It's unwise to make a major decision such as this, when you're dealing with unresolved grief and unanswerable decisions. Even if she can't have kids now, that may be a result of the fall and she may still have been pregnant.

It's also too soon to discuss your doubts, when she's so close to the loss (or the drama of the incident). Despite privacy laws, you could still find out from the doctor, hospital or health department, and the official procedure in cases of stillbirths.

But the real issue here is whether you're only staying to conceive your own child. Consider that even if you do have a baby together, you were prepared to leave before and may want to do so again.

Ask yourself if you love this woman enough for the long-term, or feel emotionally "trapped" and looking for a way out through your suspicions.

My sister and I are both in our early-20's. She's the eldest, and I'm the second of five children. At 19, she fought with my parents, dropped out of university, and moved out. Since she's returned home and to school, whenever someone tries to discuss a problem with her, she's immediately crying, screaming and acting irrational. She once didn't talk to our younger sister for five months.

Before we both left to work away this summer, she stole something of mine, lied about it, and when confronted called me a backstabber, un-loyal and other nasty things. I haven't heard from her since - no birthday wishes or a reply from a family email including her.

I'm dreading living with her again. I don't handle stress well; it's my last year of university. My parents have told her she cannot continue living at home without adjusting her attitude to everyone. Living on my own is unfortunately not an option.

Stressed Sister

Your parents have taken charge here, as they should. Ask them for some special understanding during this already-stressful year - e.g. more private study space, help in negotiating differences between you and she, early on, if problems arise.

Though they're correct to set boundaries for your sister, they could also be offering her professional help for her anger and obvious unhappiness.

I believe I have shy bladder disorder - I'm unable to urinate if I know friends or co-workers are within earshot. If it's a noisy public washroom, or nobody's around, nearby, or I'm at home, no problem.

This problem began in adulthood, when I developed some serious food allergies that caused severe diarrhea for a while. I was embarrassed about people hearing me use the washroom then and embarrassment has persisted. How do I overcome this? It's getting in the way of my developing new relationships with people.

Awkward

Even smart doctors know not to diagnose themselves, and neither should you. Talk to your own physician about this problem. If there's no medical antidote or help, consider talking to a therapist. Meanwhile, you could try using "diversion tactics" that have been around for years: Turn the sink faucet on full, flush the toilet before you start to urinate, and hum throughout.