Five years ago I met my physiotherapist after a shoulder surgery. He helped me tremendously and after a year, I was discharged from his care but I was hooked!!
I knew that it would’ve been an ethical violation for him to make any moves on me, but I felt we really made a connection.
We kept in touch professionally as I developed issues with my other shoulder which led to surgery again.
Shortly after, I re-commenced treatment with him which is ongoing.
We have a good rapport, laugh and talk about many things, so I feel there might be something there.
But I don't want to damage the professional relationship by saying something.
He doesn't talk about a girlfriend and I don't mention a boyfriend (I would if I had one) when he asks about my life.
A Little in Love
This sensitive territory for your physiotherapist could cost him his job.
He’s been thoroughly professional so far.
You’ve also not crossed a line when with him, but your feeling that you could be falling in love with him, is risky for both of you.
You only have to mention it to someone who knows you both, and the gossip that ensues could cause his professional college to react.
If you are drawn to him to the point that you might say something, cancel your next appointments.
Instead, ask him to refer you to someone he thinks will be just as helpful, and explain, briefly, that you’ve developed feelings for him and don’t want it to become a problem for him.
If he does share your feelings, he’ll know how long a period of time that his professional association requires him to not be treating you as a patient, before he or you can initiate a dating relationship.
Or, he’ll thank you for your consideration and refer you on.
My sister is beautiful, hard working and a homeowner. But she keeps picking terrible men.
She’s in love with the idea of love but never asks herself, “What is he bringing to the table?”
Our family has soured on the latest guy. He’s over 55, unemployed, drinks, has no car or home, and is opinionated on the running of her home that she shares with my mom.
He’s disrespectful, and if told that he’s wrong about something, goes on a tirade.
My sister makes excuses for him, and buys him clothes to make him appear presentable.
He doesn’t fit into our family and is a drain on the resources. My sister’s talking about marriage.
How do I talk to her without ruining our relationship, and also tell her that he’s different behind her back.
It’s not new for your sister to pick guys you consider as losers. Try a new response this time.
Do not say that he’s “different behind her back” - a phrase that would certainly bring her to his defense.
Instead, spend some time with them together (uncritically), and look for what she sees in him.
Whatever it is, comment that you understand that she wants a partner, and add no “but” of criticism… especially not if there’s been past competitiveness with you or others in the family.
Try for a conversation that’s caring instead of combative. When the opportunity seems right, tell her that you’re concerned for her about what he cannot “bring to the table” regarding the house she owns and its costs, and that you’re also worried for her about his angry outbursts.
FEEDBACK Regarding the woman who feared that her boyfriend’s erectile dysfunction (ED) was her fault (March 12):
Reader – “As a nurse practitioner, I found it great to see a comprehensive listing of common causes of ED in your response.
“One increasingly common cause of ED in young men is frequent use of online pornography to masturbate. This can result in difficulty with performance in actual sexual encounters.
“A period of complete abstention is often curative.
“Tobacco use is also a common cause of ED, whether the person is smoking or vaping, as nicotine is the culprit.”
Reader #2 - “I have ED from type 2 diabetes and also have high blood pressure.”
Ellie – ED is common to men who have diabetes, especially type 2, and can be linked to high blood pressure and heart disease (common to men with diabetes).
Periodic episodes or longer-term ED can be caused by consuming excessive alcohol, or by depression and anxiety.
Tip of the day:
Most governing bodies of professional health practitioners have strict rules barring sexual/romantic relationships with patients.