Three years ago, I dated a girl for four months until she broke up with me. I was madly in love and would’ve done anything to remain friends. 

For the next two years we were emotionally co-dependent as neither of us was in a relationship. It ended amicably six months ago.

I’ve known she’s dating someone seriously, though we don’t talk much anymore.

Recently, I ran into her and her new boyfriend, and everything was fine.

Today, her new boyfriend invited me to a surprise birthday party for her. I don’t know if I should go. It’ll probably mean the world to her if I did, and I’d like to.

I know I’d behave despite the residual feelings, and I’d probably take a date.

- Need Objective View

She’ll eventually know you were invited, and you think you can handle it, so go. 

I understand that you want the emotional armour of a date with you. Just don’t “use” someone inappropriately for the job – i.e. not someone who likes you as a potential boyfriend and who’ll see those “residual” feelings.

And whatever “behave” means to you, it should include very moderate alcohol consumption.

This is not the time for “remember-when’s” with your ex, or for overly palsy chat with her guy. HOWEVER, if you’ve sought advice because you’re not completely sure you can handle this event without a setback of the blues, then politely decline.

Neither of you want you to test yourself, in public.

I’m living with my boyfriend of nine months; he’s respectful, thoughtful, honest, proud of me and admires my accomplishments. However, we haven’t had any sex life in six months. 

He swears that he loves me although he’s not attracted to me. He wants me to be more fit and active, so I’d be more attractive to him.

Although I’m not a supermodel, I’m not an abomination either.

It’s really damaging my self-esteem that he can’t bring himself to touch me beyond casual cuddling.

He says he doesn’t want to lose me, but I don’t know what to do.

- Feeling Worthless

Correction: He is NOT respectful, nor completely honest. 

“Respect” would have him working at ways to improve your well-being by other means than rejection (joining a gym together, shopping and cooking healthfully, etc.

“Honesty” would have him admitting that he’s hanging on for other reasons than being a real “boyfriend;” these could be financial comfort with your arrangement or his own insecurity.

Break up, clear your head, and think about what YOU want for your health and fitness level.

If you’re okay with your body and your activity level, be proud. Otherwise, create your own slow but steady health plan, and regain your self-confidence.

I’m a high school senior so involved with my studies, sports and volunteering, that I never got a chance to date or hang out with friends. 

I probably won’t see most of the people I know once we graduate.

One guy was a really good friend to me. I’ve never asked anyone out. I want to ask him, but sometimes I think he likes me and other times I think

he doesn’t.

- Desperate

You’ve been too busy for him to be any more sure of your interest than you are of his. So chat to him about things you have in common at school, and also mention how sorry you are that there hasn’t been time to hang out as friends. 

His response will tell you whether to ask him out or stay friends.

There’s one uncle I don’t want to invite to my future wedding. He dominates a room, tells stories about my family and I that aren’t true. 

It’ll mean my aunt not coming; I don’t know how my family will take this. But I don’t want someone I despise and worry about around on my wedding day.

Is this reasonable?

- Bride’s Rights

You’re building anxieties and potential family rifts instead of considering alternative solutions. One hallmark of maturity is the ability to accept compromise and peace seeking. You’ll need this in your own union. 

Another hallmark is taking responsibility for your actions. Cut out your aunt, and a whole side of the family may be insulted and outraged.

OR, have someone talk to your uncle ahead that none of his “stories” are permitted, and assign a few relatives to keep him away from the microphone and excess alcohol, if that’s a factor.