My boyfriend and I ended our 10-month relationship.

It wasn't always easy, but we were happy. We met each other's friends, we went on trips and dates – we were in love.

I had bouts of depression and eating disorder, he struggled with anxiety and panic disorder, but we supported each other.

But several months ago, his anxiety worsened, he had to quit work. He was having random panic attacks, our sex life became non-existent, we hardly went out.

I researched anxiety and other disorders, and sought help from local support groups.

A few weeks ago, he said he couldn't do it anymore. Our relationship was too straining on him.

He was afraid he was hurting me. I had to let him go.

He asked me not to wait for him because we don't know how long recovery would take or what he’d be like when on medication.

Do I just cut off contact so he can focus on getting better on his own?

He said I should call him if I'm having a hard time – I think my depression’s creeping back – but wouldn't that hinder his recovery process? How often can I reach him without making him anxious?

Still Very Caring

Do what he asked – give him the space to try and recover.

It means occasional contact only.

He was kind to say he wants to know when you’re having difficulty, but that is counter-productive to his dealing with anxiety issues.

Send a personal note (less intrusive than an email – he can open it when he feels like it) that’s positive and encouraging about him, without mentioning your own situation.

But do take care of yourself. Reach out to family and friends to combat dwelling on this separation.

There’s a valid reason for it, based on caring enough to know he needs professional help and a focus on himself.

My mother’s very difficult. Her behaviour’s alienated my brother, sister-in-law, and my other siblings.

At my nephew's recent wedding, there was a plan in place so that she wouldn’t disrupt the wedding or upset guests.

My daughter’s now refused to invite my mother to her wedding.

Her fiancé and his family, plus her cousins and siblings support this decision. I'm torn.

But she only wants people she loves and who love her steadfastly, whereas my mother has been vocally unsupportive of her and her relationship for years.

My mother’s the only family member not invited.

When the couple recently told her she wasn’t invited, my mother started yelling and the couple left.

My husband says he’ll support my daughter and her decision, as well as me. I don't know what to do to make this situation better.

Pre-Wedding Drama

The damage was done long ago, so the likelihood of a lasting rapprochement between grandmother and bride is slim.

However, there’s one chance for a window of civility on both sides at the wedding.

Tell your mother that if she wants to be invited, she must see the couple and apologize for her past negativity towards both of them. And say that she loves her granddaughter and wishes them both a happy marriage.

Tell your daughter that if this happens, she’s to be generous enough to accept the apology. It’d clear the air for the whole family’s benefit (and for appearance’s sake too at the wedding), at least for awhile.

If one or neither is willing, this is a situation of your mother’s making. Tell her so.

Commentary – “A woman, 28, wrote you that she was being used by her boyfriend. I believe men often feel the same way.

“Another woman wrote that because her boyfriend hadn't proposed yet, she was wondering if she should dump him – though he’s a great guy and there were no relationship problems.

“With my last girlfriend, I’d made my feelings and beliefs plain - I wanted to take it slow. And that I wasn't ready to be intimate.

“A few months later, I learned that she was cheating, and blamed me for it.

“One other girlfriend demanded that I get a vasectomy. When I refused, she flipped out!

“I feel that women don't deserve a guy if they don't respect his beliefs, and needs.

“As a man, I’ve found that some women forget that love, respect, trust, commitment, and all those other healthy things in a relationship, must be a two-way street.”