My boyfriend of three years has suggested we move in together. I’m really excited because this is a great step towards a future together. The only issue is that he snores. I love him very much and of course, we have had sleep overs, which is how I know he snores.
I try to fall asleep before him, and luckily, I’m a deep sleeper, but when I don’t, I end up on the couch. Or I just leave and go home. But I won’t be able to do that if we’re living together.
I need to figure this out before I say yes, but I don’t want to hurt his feelings, or think that my love for him hinges on his snoring. What do I do?
Snoring Sweetie
Your boyfriend is not the first man to have a snoring issue, or the last. There are lots of sleep clinics out there that can help him. Also, I suggest he see his own family doctor who may suggest he see an ears, nose and throat specialist. Just to rule out anything medical.
However, you must be honest with him and explain what happens when he is asleep. There is nothing for him to be ashamed of, so make sure he knows that. Now explain to him that moving in together is something you want and are looking forward to. But for your future together, together, you need to help him stop snoring so you can comfortably sleep in the same bed.
If he is the caring, loving, thoughtful person you know and hope to marry, he will understand and want to get the help he needs.
FEEDBACK Regarding the woman dealing with her husband suffering sudden male pattern baldness (May 13):
Reader – “I'm a big fan of your advice columns. Both of you have a lot of great advice to offer.
“I can relate to this 30-year-old man losing his hair. Right around the same age, my barber told me, alarmingly, that I had developed several large bald patches in the back of my head. It took me completely by surprise. I asked him what causes this. Without hesitation, he had the diagnosis: Stress. Whatever was going on in my life, my body wasn't digesting it properly. I took a very good inward look into my life to try to get to the root causes of what was happening and manage it better. Thankfully, it passed, and though it took several months, my hair began to fully grow back. It's seven years later and my head is still full of lush, dark hair, which I am thankful for!
“But, while I was struggling through that time, I was considering the possibility that I may lose my hair completely. Was it the end of the world? No. Did my wife care? Also, no. It was just up to me to have to reason with it and make peace with it. Thankfully, even though I was ready, I didn't have to make that compromise. I would also have to start wearing hats... and I hate hats, ha!
“Once again, thanks for the excellent daily submissions! Keep up the great work.”
Dude with hair
I recently went to a party where I bumped into a guy I actually despise. He’s a blowhard, has an inflated ego, and is rude in his superiority complex.
Thankfully, I wasn’t seated at his table. But of course, he had to make the rounds of all the tables – even though it wasn’t his party or his place to do that. When he got to me, he acted as though we were old friends who hadn’t seen each other in ages. He put out his hand to shake, which I did reluctantly, and then he pulled me into a bro-hug. I was fuming inside!
He ruined my night – and then abruptly left! It’s two days later and I’m still seething. How do I move on from this guy?
Bag of chips
There’s more to this story, whether you realize it or not. A man you don’t like gives you an overzealous greeting. That’s not enough to ruin your night and keep you angry for two days. Something about this man has got under your skin, and only you can remove it.
Talk to someone who you are able to really listen to. If no one, talk to a therapist. There’s something deeper here.