My friends have started teasing me because of the way I dress. They say I’ll never get a boyfriend because my clothing is too covered and constricting. They wear what all the girls wear: small tops that look like they belong in a sexy magazine. That’s not my style. I don’t want everyone to see my body. I like to be comfortable, cozy in the winter, and I like my layers.

Why would I want a guy to like me because of the clothes I’m (not) wearing?

Personality Much?

I love your attitude! You be you. I believe you should be able to wear whatever you want – as long as it’s not offensive to others (raw beef, like Lady Gaga at the 2010 Video Music Awards; or a completely see-through dress (?), like Bianca Censori at this year’s Grammy’s).

And you’re correct that a person should get to know your personality, and THAT should be what attracts them to you, NOT whatever you’re wearing.

There are two parents at my child’s school who are clearly and openly having an affair. What people do behind their bedroom doors is none of my business. But I have two children at that school, one of whom is good friends with one of those adult’s children, while my other child is on a sports team with the child of the other adult in question. They can see what’s going on because these two are very public with their affection. And they know that what they are doing is wrong, considering they are both married to other people.

Sure, the other partners may know, and it may be OK with them, but somehow, I doubt that. And that’s again, not my business. But these children see everything! Then they come to me with questions. And I just feel so sad for the children of both these couples.

Have they no shame?

Exhibitionist Affairs

You are right that it is not our place to judge others and how they live their lives – as long as they are not hurting anyone else. However, it sounds to me, from your description, that people are being hurt in this situation, that is, the kids.

Unfortunately, there’s really nothing you can do other than to talk to your children. Teach them not to gossip, not to spread rumours, to have compassion and empathy. And to be good friends.

My boyfriend is a wonderful guy – warm, loving, kind, generous, fun…. but terrible in bed! He has no game, doesn’t partake in any foreplay, goes straight for the goalpost, and he’s done in a heartbeat. Before I’m even past neutral, he’s asleep and snoring.

This can’t be my future.

Bad Sex

You have three choices: live with it, which you don’t want to do. End the relationship, which I’m not sure you’re ready to give up on. Or teach your honey what makes you tick. Take charge in the bedroom so he can see what your pace is like. Work together to find ways to please each other and have fun experimenting. If he’s as lovely as you think, he’ll be more than willing to please you.

FEEDBACK Regarding the smelly dog (Dec. 3):
Reader #1 - “I was initially feeling this is a cry for help.  Could be that her mother needs some mental health intervention. But, then I started to question if daughter and dad are not actually, maybe unintentionally, piling on to her mother.  At 16, she is old enough to start taking on chores like cooking and walking the dog.

“Why is washing the dog apparently left to ONLY the mother?  Why cannot daughter help, if not even to just initiate bathing the dog?

“Maybe a frank family meeting is required to FULLY understand from mother’s perspective.”

Reader #2 – “I noted the daughter said, ‘and we mostly eat dinner together at night, if my mom remembers to cook’. Two things (at least) here: What’s wrong with a 16-year-old daughter making dinner a few days each week? And Dad also. Divide up the dinner responsibilities evenly, instead of dumping it all on poor old mom.

“Her mom sounds like she is overwhelmed having to walk the dog (again all three should do this) and make all the dinners! My mother died right after my 16th birthday and I had to buy and cook all the dinners, plus go to high school and I was able to handle it!”

Lisi – I agree. At 16, the daughter could prep the dinner, if not cook the whole thing. She could also get the bath ready for the dog and help her mom (or dad) wash him.