I’m 49, and met this woman, 36, last July.

Previously, I’ve built an emotional wall against every potential partner, to avoid getting hurt, but I fell madly in love with her. She had reservations about the age difference, but we loved each other.

My son, 14, loves her and her 5-year-old boy. However, after I took her to my company Christmas party and introduced her to all my co-workers, she called me and said she no longer wants the relationship due to our age difference but we can still be friends.

Every part of me want to be with her, so being just friends is going to hurt even more.

Apparently, she’d been thinking of breaking up for awhile.

Also, six weeks prior, she had breast reduction surgery and a tummy tuck. I assisted her after her surgery, and thought that made us even closer. I feel used because I got dumped once she fully recovered.

I was planning to ask her to marry me on Valentine’s day.

What should I do?

- Devastated

Send a friendly Valentine’s card – no flowers, and no mushy pleas.

Her “age” issue was your first clue; her major cosmetic surgery was your second, that this woman was restless. Her mind was on a serious makeover that would result in her feeling better and looking more attractive. It’s very common that such hopes include a vision of improved chances at getting “a catch” for a partner.

However, it’s possible that after she settles down from her physical changes, she’ll be pleased with her appearance but back in touch with her reality. If she really did love you, she’ll re-consider.

If she was always hoping for someone younger/better, she’ll still want friendship only. If so, keep down your emotional wall, for meeting someone else.

I’ve recently learned that the photographer whom my fiance and I have hired for our wedding doesn’t dress appropriately for the event.

I’ve received word from a previous client that the photographer showed up for her big day wearing shorts and garden clogs.

How do I politely address this issue prior to our formal wedding, to ensure she dresses appropriately?

- Couple in Dis-Dress!!

If it’s a choice between talent and skill vs. proper dress code, I’d go for the former.

Photographers carry a lot of heavy equipment, have to move around quickly, and stand on their feet a lot; their work takes a toll on their backs, which is why clogs have become popular footwear for many.

Also, they need to be comfortable during the long hours of an event. The photos will be of the wedding party and guests in their formal attire, not of the photographer.

However, if you feel very strongly about this you have two choices: 1) speak to her very politely and ask if she can wear something discreet but comfortable, e.g. simple black pants and t-shirt; or 2) hire a different photographer.

Is it wrong to tell someone close that their gift really doesn’t suit you?

- Awkward

It depends on the relationship.

Example: Your fiance - Be appreciative of the effort in choosing the item, but be honest. Explain your case delicately, and come up with an agreeable solution such as exchanging for a similar item. BUT, if it’s a family heirloom, keep it, wear it sometimes.

Parents – thank them warmly but ask if they’d mind if you exchange it, so they’ll see the true value of your having something you want/need.

I’m 19, seeing this guy off an on for five years. He tells other girls he wants to settle down with someone, but he tells me he just wants to be friends. But I sleep at his house every night unless I’m working.

I tell him I love him everyday, and the odd time he says it back.

I don’t know if I should stick around in case he changes his mind to have a relationship again or should I move on and let him be?

- Confused

At 14, when this started, you could be excused for hanging onto him, but at 19, you either get smart or you’ll be a doormat for guys like him, repeatedly.

He doesn’t want YOU, he only wants easy sex which you’ve provided long enough.

End it, and work on your own self-esteem. Find friends you trust, improve how you feel about yourself, avoid users.