It's been seven years since my ex left me; afterward, we'd been calling each other for three years, then she stopped phoning.
I stopped calling her around October 2005, because I felt that I was dragging her down, even though I didn't know then that she'd gotten married. I don't want to be a drag to anyone.
So I'm wondering whether it's okay to contact her on special occasions – e.g. on her birthday, New Year's, and Christmas. In my heart, I love her.  There's not a day that's passed by without me thinking about her.
I don't think about wanting to be with her. Instead, I thank her and God that I had the opportunity to love her and be loved back.

- Loving Ex

You're lucky to be so content with your view of both the past and the present regarding your ex-wife… but I believe it's time to move on.
The fact she stopped calling even on special occasions is a signal to you that the contact should stop. Her life is necessarily taken up with her current relationship and its involvements.
As a man who appreciates the value of giving and receiving love, you'd do well to focus on whether you, too, can find a new person to relate to so meaningfully again.

My sister recently got engaged to a man with whom she had a five-year, on-off relationship; they always remained friends.
When she announced she was going on a cruise with him, I assumed it was as friends. When she returned engaged, it came as a shock to me as I didn't know they were dating again. She's now planning her wedding and wondering why I'm not more excited/happy about it.
I've agreed to be her maid of honour and my children are in her wedding party.
She and I had drifted apart when we went to university. She rarely talks to me on a personal level. She never asks how I am, how my work is going, nor about my children. She never visits my house and only sees my children when we're at my parents' home - yet she claims she's a doting aunt.
When I said I had no idea she was back with her old boyfriend, she said I never asked her. But when I've previously tried to probe her, she either shut down or displayed her explosive temper.
We'd often end up in a yelling match (I sometimes instigate it, too).
She's angry at me for not making more effort to speak to her fiancé and not congratulating him on his engagement. I hardly know him. I can't help feeling some resentment and anger for not being told about their dating again. I feel like an outsider.

- Sad Sister

Don't blow off your best opportunity for "instigating" a better relationship with your sister. It no longer matters "what" you knew "when."
She's honoured you by asking you and your children to be in the wedding party. Congratulating her fiancé, and making an effort to get to know him, are the right things to do. Invite the two over for a casual barbeque with the kids; listen to their wedding plans, and stop dwelling on the past.
It may be that it was hard on her to have an on-off boyfriend all those years when you were married and having children, as she clearly wanted some of that, too. Forgive, and move forward.

I'm widowed and have a divorced "friend" that I've long adored.
I recently expressed my desire to him; he responded that he "values my friendship." I want only his heart and soul (I'm financially independent).
I recently visited his mother at her request, without him. She said, "Sometimes you have to start out being friends before you can achieve more." It was like she was asking me to hang in there.
I sense that he likes me but he's emotionally unavailable.
What's your take?

- Adoring Alone

His mother may approve, but that's only a good start.
He was clear that he's not ready for more than friendship now, so don't push. Enjoy your time together; don't appear emotionally needy.
He may be wary of relationships due to his divorce. Time will tell you whether to keep hanging in, or whether it's an unrewarding effort that becomes too hard on you.