I’m involved with a married woman, beautiful and smart, a mother and someone I cannot do without. 

I too am married and a parent; still, we’ve agreed we want to be together.

She has first committed herself though to raising her children as they’re still very young. I respect this desire but I’m ready to be with this woman.

I’ve mentioned on many occasions that I’m willing to be there for her children too, and that we don’t have to wait until they’re older before we can be together.

We speak each day, telling each other of our love and devotion. Yet, at the end of the day we go home to our other lives. It gets harder and harder.

Is waiting the right thing to do?

- Eager

The right thing is highly debatable, but here’s my take on just the facts: This woman wants to fulfill what she feels is her most important commitment to her young children, yet you’re pushing her to compromise on that. 

If you listen closely, she’s telling you that she’s content with just an affair, and in no hurry to turn her kids’ life upside down during a divorce process and re-marriage to you.

You sound like someone used to getting what you want when you want it. But it’d be a mistake to pressure her further – children don’t instantly adjust to this kind of upheaval, and I’m not sure you’re prepared for the problems that’ll come along with her, if she gives in to your rush. Wait it out.

Unless, what you want is an excuse to leave your own marriage; if so, do your wife a favour and come clean, make appropriate support and parenting arrangements, and move out.

I’m a single student, 24, diagnosed 18 months ago with Multiple Sclerosis. 

I’ve been reluctant to date since I’m not sure when and how to tell the man I’m dating about the MS. I’m not currently experiencing symptoms, so it isn’t hard to keep it to myself; I often do with most people.

At what point is it appropriate to tell a guy about my illness without freaking him out, and at what point have I held back too long and risked hurting him for not letting him in on it sooner?

- Need Insight

Do not let your illness dominate your life with fears – instead, get fully informed. Join your local MS society and inquire about support groups, plus someone who can answer specific social/emotional questions. 

Date freely, and wait until you find someone whom you think is trustworthy and cares about you, to confide.

Do NOT wait until a formal commitment, because that would seem unfair and untrusting on your part.

MS is not something to be ashamed of; so once a guy becomes a regular date, he should be told some details. He should know that you have no symptoms now, and that symptoms can be unpredictable and vary greatly from person to person, and from time to time in the same person.

You should know – and tell those who care - that there are treatments to help manage many of those symptoms. Some of the symptoms include: vision disturbances such as double or blurred vision, extreme fatigue, loss of balance, problems with coordination, stiffness of muscles. If and when you experience any of these, stay in close contact with your doctor.

Meanwhile, talk to your doctor about maintaining a healthy diet and lifestyle.

I’m 23, my husband of one year is 25; we separated for five months. 

Back together, I overheard a conversation he was having with his ex (whom he swore he’d never talk to again), questioning her about another man. He was being sneaky, and changed her name in his phone.

Then I found an explicit text message in his phone from another woman.

He said she was also “just a friend.”

We’re making things okay, but now my trust for him is completely gone.

I need advice for other than counselling.

- Young and Scared

A young marriage won’t thrive without trust. 

I’m guessing he won’t go to counselling but that doesn’t mean you can’t – either through pastoral counselling from your faith community or through a social service agency if fees are your concern.

You need to explore whether this is insecurity on your part, or immaturity on his.