I have two children ages four and six, whom I love, but I get easily frustrated with the routines of being a stay-at-home mom. It sometimes makes me very short-tempered with the kids, and I'm often exhausted and resentful by the time my husband gets home, as he works late.

He has a great but demanding job, though we're fortunate that he earns a lot from it and loves it. All the other "company" wives with kids love their ability to hire nannies in order to have lunches out together, and shop whenever they please.

But I feel guilty about that kind of lifestyle. I have a good education and worked in my field before I had children, so lunches and shopping aren't enough for me.

However, I was raised by a devoted mom, and feel that I'm supposed to be here at home until the kids are much older, even though it's making me depressed and even angry. Do I tough it out or can I change things without seeming too selfish and a bad mother?

Miserable

There's a point when forced devotion becomes painful for everyone around, and you've reached it. You're in the lucky position to be able to afford to make some changes and help your family adjust to them over time.

Hire a nanny who's, above all else, trustworthy and responsible with the children. Then look for part-time work in your field, to start, even if it means volunteering in something related. Or, you may want to set up a home office and freelance on small projects until you feel ready to work full-time again, if you decide that's what you really want.

Children and husbands alike benefit greatly from a happy, fulfilled mother, and wife. Also, once you return to feeling good about your life, you'll give better quality time and interest to all.

My girlfriend of ten months starts our every conversation by saying, "we need to talk." This always means she has some issue about how I'm behaving or not behaving, or how I'm talking or not talking, or not listening. It feels like she wants to remake me in her own reflection!

I really like her a lot, have even felt I love her, but I'm terrified to say so as I know it'll start a whole new series of discussions about what we're going to do about it.

I feel it's still too early to plan out our whole future, as we're only in our late-20s and busy building careers. Your thoughts?

Tuning Out

Tune into her long enough to hear whether what she really wants is reassurance that you two are in this together - i.e. committed to a long-term relationship, without making it public with an engagement, yet.

I'm pretty sure this is what she's really after, and the L word from you will go a long way to making her feel more secure - and less in need of critiquing your behavior!

However, this is also a turning point between you because, if you do reassure her and she keeps on judging your every word and action, you're going to have to confront her on why she's hanging in with you if you're so imperfect in her eyes.

Ten months of dating has proved that there's an attraction and some comparability between you. Now it's time to find out if there's also a level of acceptance and understanding, so that early love can deepen.

My friend's husband drinks too much and then he becomes easily angered. He's pulled some obnoxious stunts and even frightened me sometimes, such as when he kicked a cab because the driver said he was off duty. We were in an isolated area late at night and the driver could've gotten out and slugged him! He also gets rude with me when drinking.

I'm single and like this woman a lot, and also depend on her company, as she's one of few people I know in this town. But I don't know how to say I don't like her husband whom she seems to adore.

Stuck

Trust me, she doesn't adore his drinking bouts of anger and rudeness, and knows you're uncomfortable, but probably needs your company too, so that she's not always alone when he behaves this way.

Be honest, and tell her you'd rather see her on her own.