I’m a guy whose girlfriend wants me to wear ladies’ panties!
It started one weekend when we went away and she removed my underwear from my suitcase.
When I realized this, she quickly suggested that I wear a pair of hers.
Since then, she said that in order to continue to see her, I have to wear both panties and stockings when we go out, and on weekends she wants to dress me completely.
If I spend the night, I must wear a pink nightgown and panty set that she makes me buy on one of our lingerie shopping trips.
She’s withheld sex from me if I refused to play along.
She’s also taken photos of me and is now threatening to show them if I don't participate in additional Dressing Sessions.
I don't mind some dressing, but it seems to be consuming our relationship.
Everything else is great, but I’d like to reduce her lingerie fetish involving me.
My "fem" wardrobe is expanding, and this weekend will be my first Completely Dressed session.
Not My Fetish
It’s not the lingerie that’s the problem.
Your girlfriend’s continually upping the ante by using threats of refusing sex with you, and of exposing you.
That use of coercion is a power grab that may take you places you don’t want to go.
Initially, it was a private part of your sex play together.
But her manner of getting you to comply is neither fun nor acceptable. It’s seriously worrying.
What’s next in her bag of demands and ways of pressuring you further?
Think this through on your own.
A relationship “consumed” with only one partner’s desires, is NOT great. It can drag you into private misery and even public shame.
Set limits you can accept. BUT, if she refuses your boundaries, end it.
Our 18-year-old son is moving out. He’s been mean, nasty, and sullen for a couple of months. He takes it all out on me.
He came to us at age seven, as a child in care. A year later, we adopted him. We have, for the most part, had a good relationship until recently.
He works part-time, has a sweet girlfriend, and she has a nice family. Yet on Boxing Day he said he couldn't live here anymore. He’s going to move in with a buddy from work.
He has us blocked on the phone and Facebook. We have to go through his girlfriend to get in touch.
I feel that I’ve failed as a mother and ruined our relationship. I’m okay with his moving out but not in this hateful way.
I can't stop crying.
Maybe I coddled him a bit too much, but I was trying to be a good mother. I’m 61, my husband is 64, and we both have disabilities that limit our activities.
He resents that we have disabilities and that he has to help. But we don’t ask for much help.
Mother In Tears
You didn’t fail as a mother. He’s going through a difficult time coming to grips with his own past – why he was taken into child services care, and what happened to him in early childhood that he’s never fully forgotten.
His lashing out at you who’s been so close and protective because he knows he’s hurting you, but feels a need to go on his own for awhile.
Tell him you understand, and that you love him. Stay in touch through his girlfriend.
This is about him, not you.
Writer’s Report - “I’d worried before Christmas about how hard it is to blend a family after a divorce.
“I was certain that me and my children will always be outsiders to my husband’s family, who dote on his children from his previous marriage.
“Now, here’s what actually happened on Christmas Day:
“Dinner at the in-laws was the best yet. His parents were great. His brother was great. It's mainly the sister who made sure photos were taken with just her and my husband's kids (after the photo was taken of all the grandkids that were there).
“We were gracious and showed love and immense gratitude for everything we received. We did so because we are very grateful.
“The framed wedding photo that was our gift to them - his mom loved it. She's excited to hang it up.
“His formerly-estranged sister must know how I feel - she called me “sister.” I love her for that.”
Tip of the day:
It’s not necessarily the fetish that’s a problem, it’s how it’s handled.