My neighbour is lovely. Her husband is lovely, and her kids are lovely. Her dog, on the other hand, is NOT lovely. He snarls at everyone who comes near, has lunged at both my little Pomeranian and my toddler, scaring them both silly, and apparently bit another neighbour.

That neighbour is fine and loves dogs, so she didn’t call the police. Instead, she went over to talk to them about training their dog. Apparently, they had a lovely conversation during which the dog’s family agreed to work on him. But they didn’t.

Recently, my mother was coming over to visit her grandchildren. She’s elderly but spry. The dog was on the porch, saw my mother, lunged, but luckily was leashed and the leash was caught on a chair. However, my mother was scared and shocked, tripped and fell, and broke her collarbone.

The neighbours ran to get me, called 911, paid for the ambulance, sent flowers to the hospital and meals to my mom’s house for a week. They did all the right things, and I appreciate that. But this didn’t need to happen if they had listened to the other neighbour and had the dog trained. Also, I feel now that they MUST get the dog trained or one of us needs to call their bluff.

What are the next steps?

Good Family – Bad Dog

This was a tricky question, so I called local police. They informed me that only the Humane Society has the authority to do anything when it comes to domestic dogs. Meaning, you could call the police, and they’ll come out and assess the situation, but they’ll escalate it to the Humane Society. So, you might as well bypass the police.  You can make an anonymous call, but the more detail you have the better for them to assess the situation. Hopefully this family will recognize the danger their dog is in if they don’t get it trained immediately.

My girlfriend and I just moved into an apartment together in the same building as her cousin and the cousin’s boyfriend. To be clear, the cousin is female. My girlfriend and her cousin are close and I’m grateful they helped us find this apartment. She’s a nice girl and her boyfriend is a cool guy with whom I get along well. We hung out often together even before we moved in.

A couple of weeks ago, I ran out late at night to meet a friend for a drink who was passing through town. When I got back to the building, the front elevator wasn’t working so I went around to the stairs. There were two girls kissing in the hall and I had to say “excuse me” to get past. One was my girlfriend’s cousin.

I pretended not to know her and kept going. But she knows it was me. I haven’t said anything to my girlfriend, or the boyfriend, but this secret is eating me alive. I don’t want to keep it anymore. I feel as though I’m lying to my girlfriend and the boyfriend.

Secrets No More

You need to talk to the cousin, privately. Maybe it’s not a secret and her boyfriend knows. Maybe your girlfriend knows too but it’s not information she’s ever shared with you. Those are possibilities just as much as the possibility that she was cheating on her boyfriend – just that once or ongoing.

Talk to her. If it isn’t a secret, then you can breathe and tell your girlfriend what you saw. If it is, you need to still tell your girlfriend, after you tell the cousin that you’re going to tell her.

FEEDBACK Regarding the lazy neighbour (March 5):

Reader #1 – “Perhaps some self-reflection is needed for the person who returned from a business trip to find only half of shared steps and walkway cleared.

“After 24 years of shovelling and salting both sides of a semi-detached, I now only shovel and salt my half. Why? Because the neighbour has rarely reciprocated and never salted. Neighbours on the other side have shovelled for me… unasked. He is at least 30 years younger than my husband and 15 years younger than me.

“I don’t expect acts of kindness, but a few acts of reciprocity through the years might have helped. Oh, and when he has shovelled his sidewalk, he uses my shovel……. without asking.”
The Shoveler

Reader #2 – “The real solution is to shovel the whole sidewalk, both sides. Show them love and kindness. You never know. They might grow. And if they don’t, it doesn’t matter. You’re demonstrating who’s the better person.”