I’m 19, graduated high school last year, and was supposed to go to university right after.

I told my father I’d rather take a year off to work and save money – an excuse because I wasn't ready to face “the real world."

I've had depression since I was young.

Even now, I’m sure I have bipolar depression e.g. good days where I feel like being with family, going out and having fun, and bad days where I feel like crying in my room the whole day.

I’ve always struggled with this, and somehow managed. I’ve never shared it with my parents.

I needed this year to know exactly what I want to do with my life. I don't want a career just for good money and a steady life.

That’s what my parents want for me, especially my dad. But I want a career that I'm passionate about. I won't have that in my hometown.

I want to go to film school in Los Angeles and pursue a career in acting.

I know I can do it, also that it’ll be difficult.

Classes start at the end of January 2016. I’d have enough time to figure out everything I need before I move.

I’m already talking to the school counsellor, who’s going to help me apply.

My family and I have always struggled financially. But somehow we always find a way to pay the bills and get by.

Anyway, I feel that my dad wants me to stay with them so they can use my financial aid money since they're struggling.

But I’ll still be able to help them financially.

My father also thinks I’m not capable of living on my own, but I have to leave the nest sometime.

I can apply for financial aid and scholarships. The school also has housing.

This whole situation has me worried because of what they think. I need your unbiased opinion.

Planning My Dream

I thoroughly support your having a dream, and practical plans to achieve it.

However, I believe that you’re unwittingly sabotaging your own dream. You can change that, now. I urge you to do so.

What you need most is a medical assessment of your depression which, trust me, your parents already see but - like you - avoid discussing.

This head-in-the-sand approach is unwise, and dangerous.

The last thing you want to happen is to move on your own, run into some obstacles that overwhelm you, and crash emotionally.

You definitely have mood swings, and these may be hormonal and easily treatable, with natural remedies or with medications.

Bipolar disorder has more serious shifts in behaviour which can last for days, weeks, or longer. You should NOT be diagnosing yourself.

The condition is also treatable with medications, along with healthy coping skills.

If not treated, it causes suffering and interferes with daily living and relationships.

So it’s essential that you get diagnosed by a doctor, learn the source of your symptoms, and the best way to manage them.

THEN, you can live your dream.

You’ll still have to work out a realistic plan for all the costs. And rely more on scholarships and financial aid plus working part-time, than on your parents.

It’s pressure that’s worth it for your goal, IF you look after your first essential need, which is your health and well-being.

See a doctor soon! And if needed, ask for referral to a specialist for treatment and learning self-management.

My husband of ten years and I both left our spouses and began our relationship after our marriages ended - though our families don’t believe this.

We’re happy together, have common likes and work ethic, are a great team, loving each other deeply.

My husband’s family invites his ex-wife to everything. How can I convey that it’s time for them to consider my feelings, and that we, as a couple, don’t want her at every family celebration?

She’s alone, and hasn’t got on with her life. How do I suggest she get a new life without looking like a bad person?

We’ve started leaving events early and consider missing family functions to avoid her.

Ten Years Later

She’s played the “betrayed wife” to her advantage.

The family’s likely embarrassed to not invite her.

Invite them (or some) to your place instead.

Also, your husband must be clear: They can have a separate friendship and get-togethers with her, but you two won’t attend when she’s invited.