My husband is going through a stage of life that is disconcerting and I don’t know how to deal with it. He’s had a very successful career, and we live a very stress-free life thanks to his hard work. He’s not retired, not even semi-retired, as he’s still young and vibrant and has years left to give to his career.

However, lately, he’s taken up biking and Padel. He’ll get up at dawn, bike along the river for two hours, then come home and get ready for work. He’ll go into the office a little later than usual, but still by 9 a.m. He’ll leave the office early, but not before 5 p.m., and then play Padel for an hour and a half. He then comes home, around 7:30 p.m., in time for dinner and to see the children briefly before they go to bed. But as soon as they’re down, he goes to sleep, exhausted from his day.

I don’t see him in the morning, he doesn’t help with the kids in any capacity, and then I barely see him at night before he passes out. He’s still kind, warm, and loving but I feel left out of his life. What do I do?

Padel Widow

Invite your husband on a date. It’s harder to say no to that than a chat at the kitchen table or a walk after dinner. Go somewhere where you can talk, but also enjoy the date, like a quiet restaurant. Show interest in his bike rides, and his Padel play. Maybe even ask if he can teach you.

Then tell him how you’re feeling. Tell him you feel lonely and left out of his nonwork life. Tell him you love him and miss him and would love some more family time with him and the kids together, along with more couple time. Ask him if there’s anything going on in his life that he’d like to talk to you about. Maybe he’s stressed about something that he hasn’t shared, and this is how he’s dealing with that stress.

However, if your conversation leaves you feeling unheard, or simply flat, I suggest you two speak with a marriage counsellor before his activities drive a wedge between you two that can’t be bridged. He may not realize that what he’s doing is avoidance, or why, but that’s something you need to investigate and address.

My girlfriend’s mom is going through a terrible time. Her father recently passed away, and they had been very close, ever since her mom had died a decade earlier. Her older brother is dealing with his own issues, which I’m not clear on, but he doesn’t speak to his sister.

And last month, she found out that her second husband has been cheating on her, so she kicked him out. Fortunately, she’s still close with my girlfriend’s dad, so she has some support, but clearly not enough.

Yesterday my girlfriend called me to come over immediately because she couldn’t wake her mom up and was freaking out. By the time I arrived, she was awake and they were crying and hugging. She had taken a sleeping pill to help her sleep, but it was too strong for her.

How can I support my girlfriend through this?

Sad Mom

You’re a caring boyfriend for even asking how you can help. Reassure your gf that you are there for her, no matter what time of day and night (recently proven), and that she can lean on you for support.

Her mom is going through a terrible time and will probably lean heavily on her daughter, who will in turn lean heavily on you. However, if you start to feel the pressure, speak up before it gets overwhelming.

FEEDBACK Regarding barking dog (June 19):

Reader – “The noise bylaw is appropriate regarding noise that cannot be avoided such as construction noise. It must be tolerated even on weekends within certain hours. All construction workers are aware of when they can start noisy work and when they should end.

“However, regarding dogs, there's another rule that applies to tenants and their right to ‘quiet enjoyment’ which extends to freedom from intrusion that is unnecessary. Dog barking is not a human right. Humans need their sanity, their quiet, their rest and sleep.

“Just because dogs became the in-fashion-thing to have and a way to meet others on the street, they do not entitle anyone to make another's life a living hell of constant noise. And rules apply too to ‘stoop and scoop.’

“Minor barking can be tolerated. Endless unnecessary barking is inhuman and a sign of utter thoughtless and selfish behaviour. “